


Silence

by JayceCarter



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Infertility, Injury, Medical Conditions, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-10-30 04:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10868961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Nora hates the silence of the Railroad HQ at night, but the quiet time allows her to get to know Carrington a little better.





	1. Chapter 1

Nora hated the silence of the HQ at night.

 

She held the edge of a desk as she tried to straighten her leg. She had her pants off already, leg bent at a funny angle as she poked at the deep wound. She hadn’t expected a courser to be a push over, but neither had she expected the fight it had put up.

 

Bastard. All she’d wanted was the little chip in his neck. He could have just played nice and let her cut it out of him.

 

“Do you require my medical expertise?” Dr. Carrington walked up to Nora, his normal scowl across his face. He didn’t seem to notice, or care, that she had no pants on. Then again, Nora’s no nonsense attitude never left much time for attraction or romance.

 

“No, thank you. I’m already injured, I don’t need to be annoyed, too.”

 

HQ was empty, as it usually was at that hour. Everyone was asleep, leaving the place quiet and eerie. It made her think of the aftermath of the Switchboard, the way only bodies and silence had remained. Would that be what happened to the new HQ eventually? Were they just biding their time until the Institute found them?

 

She’d brought them courser chip to help, but who knew if it would end up doing any good.

 

“Believe it or not, I am a well-qualified doctor. I can look at your leg.” He indicated the leg she favored, the one that could probably use stitches. And amputation if it didn’t stop aching.

 

She sighed and turned, sitting on the desk. She wasn’t going to be able to fix it herself, she hadn’t practiced nearly enough yoga for that.

 

Carrington leaned over, fingers drifting over the wound. “The courser did this?”

 

“One of the many gifts he gave me.”

 

He nodded as he pulled a chair over, sitting in it to put him closer to her leg. “You take too many risks, Charmer. One of these days, it will kill you.”

 

“I killed a courser and all I got was this stupid chip.”

 

“And this wound,” he said, though he didn’t smile. Did he ever?

 

She’d nearly come to blows with the doctor many times. They’d stood in the middle of HQ, screaming at each other, poking one another in the chest like ten year olds. No one ever tried to separate them, because what was the point? They just yelled louder.

 

Still, Carrington never treated her like a savior, like something special, and so many of the others did. He treated her like he treated everyone else: like an inconvenience.

 

“And the wound. So, can I keep the leg?”

 

He took a large bandage and put it over the wound. “I believe so. A stimpack should fix the damage by morning, but I’m ordering you to bed for a good night’s sleep.”

 

“That’s not happening until I’m back in my own place.”

 

“Why not?”

 

She set her hands behind her as he injected the stimpack. “I don’t care for sleeping two feet from another agent. Haven’t sleep beside anyone since the old days, since it was my husband beside me. It doesn’t feel safe.”

 

He released her leg, then stood and offered his hand.

 

Nora stared at it for a moment. Was this a joke? He was going to pull his arm away and allow her to fall, wasn’t he?

 

No, that was more Deacon’s style. Carrington didn’t have a sense of humor for a joke like that.

 

He sighed when she wouldn’t move. “Come on, I don’t have all night.”

 

Nora moved off the desk and he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Really? Because I don’t exactly see other patients knocking lining up.”

 

They moved at a crawl, even with Carrington taking most of her weight. He didn’t complain, didn’t snap, just took each slow step beside her until they were in PAM’s area.

 

 Carrington stopped when they made it down the ramp. “PAM, this room is needed. Drag in a mattress then spend the evening in the shooting range, please.”

 

“Affirmative.” PAM rushed from the room and followed the command.

 

“You’re seriously kicking PAM out of her own room?”

 

PAM returned, setting the mattress down before walking out, leaving them alone.

 

“I am. You require sleep, Charmer. If you cannot, or will not, sleep beside another agent, then you’ll sleep here. PAM has no need for this room at night, but you do.” Carrington helped her down onto the mattress, taking most of the work on himself. “Why did you not tell me about your leg when you returned? I could have treated it at that time.”

 

Nora winced as she scooted down to the middle of the mattress, then laid back. “We had other things to deal with. Why are you like this?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Incredibly unpleasant.”

 

He frowned, then released a soft laugh that managed to not inflict a smile on him. “I still say we should have never let you be called Charmer. I’ve met ferals with more charm than you.” He took a seat on the ground beside the mattress. “I’ve seen a lot of people die.”

 

“We all have. Deacon has and he’s not such an asshole.”

 

“The difference is that I am trapped here. All I do is treat the wounded when I can, and record the dead when I can’t. Everyone else here helps synths, but I don’t, not directly. Our people risk themselves and sacrifice themselves in order to save others, but my entire job is to keep them alive. Our main purpose is directly opposed. It sometimes feels like I’m on the opposite side of this team, and it usually feels like I’m losing.” He reached down and set a hand on her shoulder. “And what about you, Charmer, woman out of time, railroad legend, why did you hide a wound on your leg instead of simply having it treated?”

 

Nora rolled away from him, her injured leg on the top so the mattress didn’t aggravate it. “There were more important things to deal with.”

 

Carrington stroked her arm, a gentle touch that seemed so at odds with his matter of fact voice, but it still relaxed her. “More important than a wound suffered on a mission? I doubt anyone else would agree.”

 

Nora’s voice came out soft, like when she was a kid and she’d tell secrets to her sister in the middle of the night. Only the darkness and stillness of the HQ let the truth slide from her lips, the one she never spoke aloud. “I’m not supposed to be here. I was supposed to die two hundred years ago. You all deserve to be here, this is your world. I’m just someone who keeps kicking over your ant hills.”

 

“That’s not what I see.”

 

“Yeah? What is it you see?”

 

He sighed, a soft sound in the darkness of the room. “You’re my next failure. I see it already, saw it when you handed me that prototype, when you charged into a place where so many of our people had died like it was nothing. Others, like Deacon and Glory, they’ll die if they need to, but they don’t want to. You? You just don’t care.”  

 

“Hard to care when nothing feels real.”

 

His hand hesitated on her skin. “I already know I’m going to need to walk up to that blackboard and cross your name off that list, that you’re going to end up bleeding out on my table, or maybe never making it back at all and rotting in some alley somewhere by yourself. I’ll have to mark you down as dead, like so many others over the years. It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s coming, and you just don’t care.”

 

“We all reach our end at some point, and I’ve made it longer than any person has a right to.”

 

“I think our world will be poorer without you.”

 

Her eyebrows drew together. “Why are you being nice to me, Carrington?”

 

“Because when it’s quiet here, I think about the people who are gone, all the people I’ve lost, and maybe I’m tired of leaving things unsaid. Now, be quiet and get some sleep, Charmer. I’d like for that end you’re rushing toward to not happen tomorrow.”

 

She closed her eyes, scooting until her back pressed against his leg, until the heat of his body soaked into her, warming the chipped corners of her, the parts she hid, that kept her up at night and ached. He stroked a hand through her hair, humming softly until he lulled her asleep. She couldn't place the song, but the tune was soft, slow, and sad. As she drifted off, the last thing she felt was a soft kiss against her temple.

 

Perhaps the silence of HQ wasn’t so bad. It reminded her of Carrington's soft humming from that day on. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Nora frowned as she surveyed the HQ. It had the quiet edge that came along every time death showed up. Deacon had his arms crossed over his chest, back against the wall, sunglasses covering his eyes and his feelings. Glory sat in a chair, leaning back, feet on a desk, playing with a knife. Dez had her hands on the main table, head hanging forward. To anyone looking, they were all bored, but Nora knew better.

 

The young agent, a new recruit Glory hadn’t even finished training, had run into a courser on a job. She’d drug him back, but that silence? It meant he hadn’t made it, and everyone left was trying to cope, both with the loss and the fact that there was a good damned chance that they were all headed that way too.

 

Every dead agent was a mirror into their own future.

 

“Where’s Carrington?”

 

Deacon lifted his gaze, a tense smile on his lips, the one that said he was hiding behind his lies. “Top floor, in the church. He likes to run up there.”

 

“Thanks, D.”

 

The path to the church steeple was easy, since she’d cleared the ferals the first time she’d made her way down there.

 

Inside the room, she found Carrington seated on a couch, leaning forward, forearms on his knees, eyes locked on the horizon through the window.

 

“Hey,” she said, voice soft so she didn’t startle him.

 

He turned his head, eyebrows drawn together, face giving nothing away. “Are you injured?”

 

Nora came into the room and crouched in front of him. “No. I just wanted to check in on you. I didn’t know you came up here.”

 

His gaze darted around the room like he hadn’t really looked at it before. “Yes, I do, sometimes. HQ can be loud and crowded. Some time apart can be. . . nice.”

 

“Do you want me to go?” She didn’t want to intrude on his private time.

 

“No. I think I’d like it if you stayed.”

 

Carrington’s hands had blood on them, like he hadn’t washed them after trying to save the agent. Blood soaked into the cuffs of his lab coat as well, splatters of it over the entire garment.

 

Nora grasped his arm and got him standing, then took the coat off. He didn’t fight her, but neither did he help her, lost in whatever was going on in his head.

 

She took a rag from her pack, poured purified water on it, then grasped his hands after getting him to sit again and began to clean them. “I’m sorry about the agent.”

 

“He was hardly an adult. He came to us, desperate to help. As it turns out, he fell in love with an escaped synth who was recalled, and he wanted the chance to perhaps save her. He was barely seventeen.”

 

Nora used the rag to scrub off the flakes of dried blood. “Kids in love do stupid things, but I guess that’s the fun of being young.”

 

“Until it steals your chance to grow old.”

 

“What’s the use of growing old? We lose that sense of adventure, that belief that we’ll win no matter what, the optimism that comes from not knowing how shitty the world really is. Is it really worth it to grow old if we just turn into, well, us?” She dipped the cloth between his fingers, cleaning each tiny spot, trying to massage out the tension he carried. He held the world on his shoulders, and that was something she could understand.

 

“Kids should be young and wild and without worry. They shouldn’t carry the responsibility of adults.”

 

Nora moved to his other hand, repeated the gentle motions. “I don’t think I can imagine you young or wild.”

 

A soft smile touched his lips, and it almost let her see him as that young person, as someone untouched by grief and responsibility. “I was. Got into trouble chasing girls and climbing trees just to say I could. I had my share of scars and broken hearts.”

 

“And what happened?”

 

The smile slipped away. “I grew up. I realized the world wasn’t the place I’d wanted it to be, and I devoted myself to fixing that. And you? Before you became a woman with nothing to lose, one running toward death, were you ever young and wild?”

 

Nora finished cleaning his hand, then tossed the rag to the corner of the room to clean later. She didn’t release her grip, though, and he didn’t pull away. She drug her fingers over his skin in soft, slow caresses. “Yeah, I guess I was.”

 

“And what happened?”

 

“I had a child, and nothing makes you grow up faster than that.” The words clogged her throat, thick, like chunks of meat she hadn’t chewed enough. Deacon and Dez knew about Shaun, but they were the only ones. No one else knew she’d had a child, that she’d lost that child.

 

Carrington nodded, his thumb returning the soft touches against Nora, like he didn’t want to draw attention to it, like they both wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. “I knew you were a mother, even though you never admitted it to me.”

 

“Was my physical that invasive?” She tried for humor, but only bitterness escaped.

 

“No. Mothers have a way of speaking, of treating people, something born from loving a child that nothing else can ever replicate. My wife would hold my son that way.”

 

“What happened to them?” She didn’t want to ask; she knew the answer. It was written in the pain on his face, in the fact they weren’t there.

 

“She was murdered and replaced by a synth sometime after the birth of our son. The Institute is always on the lookout for talented doctors to recruit, and I was on their list. The synth, she admitted it to me one night. She’d fallen in love, I suppose, and felt bad for what had happened. It wasn’t like I could blame her, she hadn’t had a choice in any of it. A courser came to collect her after we tried to run, to make it to the Railroad and escape. I was meeting with Dez at the time, trying to secure safe passage, when the courser found her. He killed my son, for no good reason. Simply because my son was there, clinging to the woman he thought was his mother. That is how I ended up here, with the Railroad. So, I know you’ve been a mother, and I also know you’ve lost your child. There are some wounds no amount of stimpacks can heal. It doesn’t take a doctor to spot them.”

 

Nora’s hands had stopped as she’d listened, as she’d heard that familiar pain bleed through his story, a pain that had emptied her out. She’d heard the way they would mummify the Egyptian dead, by pulling their organs out, and that’s how she felt. Like something stripped of all her important parts, something still alive when it shouldn’t be.

 

Something squeezed her hand, and she looked to see it was Carrington, gripping her hand.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep any lines. I forget sometimes that I’ve had a long time to come to terms with that loss, but for you? For you, it’s still fresh.” He released her. “Thank you, for checking on me and for my hands.”

 

Nora stared at her hand where he’d held it, like the meaning of everything were there, like if she examined it enough she’d understand whatever this was blooming between them. “What is this?”

 

He didn’t pretend to misunderstand, to play games. “I don’t know. Maybe two people trying to pretend we can be young and wild again. Maybe people wanting to cling to anything at all after losing so much. Maybe we’re just comparing scars. Does it really matter?”

 

“I guess not.”

 

He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, not enough to even be called a kiss, before he pulled away and stood with a sigh. “I should get back. I have another name to cross off.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

“He could be alive!” Nora stood, nearly bumping her chest against Carrington’s as they yelled.

 

Well, she yelled. He spoke in that damned even, calm voice, like she were acting foolish and childish.

 

“If he were alive, wouldn’t he have made contact by now? You’re being naïve, and I can’t endorse a mission likely to lose another agent based on some pipedream.”

 

She glared, frustrated, before turning away. “You can go fuck yourself, Carrington. I’m not going to leave that agent out there if there’s a chance in hell he could still be alive. I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

 

When she reached the doorway, her uterus cramped, forcing her to grasp the doorway and suck in a breath. Her knuckles went white, eyes closed as she willing herself to relax. Slowly, the cramp eased and she could stand up straight again.

 

“Are you all right?” Carrington’s voice made her jump, the way he’d gotten close and she hadn’t even realized it.

 

“I’m fine.” She stormed out, heading up to the steeple. She’d borrowed his little piece of privacy, opting to sleep there on nights when there wasn’t time to return to her own place in Diamond City or Goodneighbor. He didn’t go there often, and if he ever was, she didn’t intrude. They hadn’t spoken since their almost kiss, at least not anything personal.

 

Just work, and there was always work to discuss.

 

What was there to say, anyway? She wasn’t ready to put any sort of name to whatever it was between them, to the infancy of a connection, as strange as it was. She’d go into the HQ, catch his gaze across the way, like they both were drawn to one another, and then they’d tear their gaze away and go about their own business.

 

Never anything more.

 

But that day was not a good day to battle anything out, to figure anything out. Her uterus was doing gymnastics inside her, having a tantrum of epic proportions. She’d been waiting on this, on her first period after having Shaun. She’d nursed him that first month, and perhaps it was the stress of the wasteland that had cause it to not return for all these months.

 

It reminded her of the time passing, that everything kept moving no matter how much she wished it would stop. She wanted to pretend Shaun was still her tiny baby, but this? This reminded her that time passed, that she’d lost that time, that everything slipped away from her.

 

She laid on the couch, curling into a fetal position, arms wrapped around her middle. She’d never have comfortable periods, but this made a joke of anything before. Was it because it had been so many months? Maybe all the stress she’d put her body through was hitting her now, playing havoc with her insides.

 

Someone pressed a hand to her forehead, and she went for her pistol until she realized who crouched in front of her.

 

“Go away,” she whispered.

 

Carrington ignored her, checking her eyes. “Are you hurt?”

 

“I told you, I’m fine. Please, just let me rest here.”

 

He pressed his hand to her lower stomach and she whimpered. “Cramping?”

 

Nora knocked his hand away and sat up. “Look, it’s. . . female trouble. It’s personal.”

 

He cocked up an eyebrow, face full of something between annoyance and disbelief. “Female trouble? I feel like you don’t really believe I’m a doctor. I can assure you, female anatomy is not a mystery to me. I'm not scared off by basic human biology. You’re hurting and there is no reason for that. Let me help.”

 

“Fine. But it’s a waste of your time.”

 

He pulled a chair over and sat in front of her. “First question. Is there any chance you could be pregnant? Severe pain could mean an ectopic pregnancy.”

 

She released a soft huff. “No chance of that, trust me.”

 

“When was your last cycle?”

 

“Over two hundred years ago.”

 

He frowned. “You’ve been awake for almost six months. Is it normal for you to be so irregular? That could mean cysts.”

 

She stared down at her hands. There was no easy way to explain that, was there? But he already knew she’d had a kid, what harm was there in more details? “You know I had a child. Well, he was only a month old when I was frozen.”

 

Carrington reached his hand out to touch her, but pulled it back before it made contact, like he wasn’t sure it would be welcomed. Instead, he cleared his throat. “Well, that likely explains it. Without nursing, cycles usually start within six weeks or so. Given the cryostasis, and the stress you put on your body during the post-partum healing, it was probably delayed a bit. It’s not uncommon for the first cycle after delivery to be especially painful. If you continue to experience this level of discomfort in the future, we can see what can be done.”

 

Nora smiled at the clinical way he spoke. “You really are a doctor, aren’t you?”

 

He offered a smile back. “I really am. Do you have any issue with chems? A very small dose of Med-x will help with cramping, and this small a dose won’t have any effect on mental clarity.”

 

She wanted to say no, but then another cramp had her leaning forward. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Nora laid back, head on the armrest of the couch as she waited. In a few minutes, Carrington returned, syringe in one hand, some sort of cloth in the other.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Something to help. Relax.” He slid her pants down, just over her hip, and injected the Med-x. After that, he took the cloth and set it on her lower stomach.

 

Warmth soaked into her and she moaned at the way it eased her. He’d found a heating pad.

 

He smiled, returning to the chair. “You see? I’m not that bad a doctor.”

 

“Your bedside manner sucks.”

 

“Really? I think I’m doing okay right now.”

 

She closed her eyes, hands pressing the heating pad tighter against her. “Maybe.”

 

He ran his fingers through her hair, like he had that first night. “I like your hair. It’s soft, softer than I’m used to.”

 

“Don’t get used to it. I’m almost out of conditioner.”

 

After a moment, Carrington spoke so softly, Nora struggled to hear the words. “Don’t go tomorrow.”

 

“I have to. You know I have to.”

 

“Why you? We have other agents.”

 

“I want you to be able to rewrite Blackbird’s name on that board. I want to give that to you.”

 

“At the expense of crossing yours off? Not worth it.”

 

“You keep telling me you’re a good doctor, well, I’m a good agent. Trust me, I can do this. If he’s alive, I’ll bring him back, for you. I know you want that.”

 

“Is this just part of your death wish?”

 

She opened her eyes to meet his, giving his question a good thought. Was it? Was this just her throwing herself into danger because she could, because danger made it so she didn’t think about the shit show that her life had turned into?

 

“No. I think, for the first time, I’m starting to see that maybe some small part of this world could be mine.” She reached out and caught his hand, squeezing it.

 

He leaned down, lips sliding against hers, a real kiss this time. It didn’t last long, but then again, neither seemed sure how far they wanted this to go, if anywhere. His kiss was everything she’d come to expect from him, direct, no nonsense, and more tempting than it should have been. Still, she could taste him on her lips when he pulled away, and her fingers curled with the want to pull him back.

 

But. . . she wasn’t ready for more. She knew that.

 

“Come back, okay? No matter what else happens out there, what goes wrong, just come back.” He moved in the chair until comfortable, like he had nowhere else to go, and went back to running his fingers through her hair with his free hand, his other still interlocked with hers.

 

She smiled as she relaxed. This might be worth coming back for.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

As it turned out, the attempt to find Blackbird took her a week between travel and intel gathering, and it had all been for nothing. Like so many other things she’d tried, none that work had paid off.

 

Blackbird’s corpse laid on the ground in the cell. He’d died before that week, if the state of his body told her anything.

 

Carrington had been right. She couldn’t have saved him. Even as she’d yelled at Carrington, as they’d fought, Blackbird had already died. They’d screamed at each other over something already done.

 

Fuck. She’d wanted to give this to Carrington, a gift maybe. After all the agents he’d lost, all the names he’d had to cross off that board, she wanted to give one back. She wanted to watch as he erased that line through his name and rewrote it, as a face he didn’t have to see when he closed his eyes.

 

But, as usual, his level-headed analysis had proven correct.

 

Nora’s hands clutched the wound across her stomach. Blood seeped out from between her fingers, leaking out, dripping on the floor.

 

The fucking raider had landed a lucky shot. She’d shot him and figured him for dead, but when she’d gotten close enough, he’d grabbed her leg and brought her down.

 

Hand to hand fighting wasn’t her forte, but she’d done alright, at least until he’d pulled the knife. It turned out that blades won, every damned time. He’d slid the blade beneath her chest armor, into her lower stomach, just above her pelvic bone.

 

For a moment she thought about her cramps and almost laughed. This for sure hurt worse; she’d never complain about cramps again.

 

A stimpack had helped, made it so she could walk at least, so she could finish off the rest of them, but it wouldn’t heal. It kept dripping blood, and the pain refused to relent.

 

She remembered taking first aid as a kid, remembered being told that if you have an object protruding from you, do not remove it, because it can do more damage on the way out. It can cut more things, causing you to bleed out. Better to stabilize the item and let a professional remove it when they can deal with the risks.

 

But, that advice had been given to people who didn’t still have to kill a bunch of raiders and then drag themselves to a doctor. That wasn’t shit she could do with a knife sticking out of her lower stomach, so she’d yanked it out, muffling a scream, and used a stimpack and a hell of a lot of other chems to finish the job.

 

Nora stumbled, hands clutching the wall. She could go to Goodneighbor instead of HQ, the odds of making it were pretty damned equal. Amari might be able to help her. Maybe. If she didn’t kill her first.

 

Why were all doctors pricks? Amari, Sun, Cade, Carrington. Was it a requirement? Something they learned first year in between giving shots and making people wait?

 

But hell, she knew that wasn’t happening. This might be her checking out, and if that was the case, she was dragging her ass back to HQ no matter how much it hurt, no matter how difficult. She was going to see Carrington before she went.

 

Nora limped, pulling herself through the church entrance. Dez would yell at her later for using the front entrance, but that was too bad. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d been yelled at, but hell, it might be the last. Bloody handprints lined the walls behind her as made her way.

 

She shook, unable to stop it, the mix of chems in her system all fighting each other. Med-x for pain, psycho and buffout for strength when hers was left in bloody patches all the way there. Her heart raced, seeming to skip beats from time to time.

 

Hancock would be proud at her, nothing but a cocktail of chems and adrenaline.

 

She stumbled into HQ, the world sliding sideways as she went over. Her shoulder slammed into the concrete floor, and she distantly wondered who would clean the handprints, all the blood. At least if she died, it wouldn’t be her.

 

Voices crowded her but she didn’t care about them. Deacon, Dez, Drummer Boy, fuck them all.

 

Finally, the voice she wanted to hear, that annoyed, calm tone. “Knife wound to her lower abdomen. Tom, get the table ready and a dose of Med-x to knock her out. She’s going to need surgery.”

 

Nora forced her eyes open. Wait, when had they shut? The room spun, spots in her vision as she ignored everyone else.

 

She reached up and grabbed Carrington’s arm, fingers weak and clumsy. “I’m sorry. You were right; he was already dead.”

 

“That isn’t important right now. Have you taken anything? I need to make sure we dose the chems correctly.”

 

She laughed, but the movement hurt, drew a gasp from her. “Oh, I’ve taken all the good shit. Walking around with a knife wound hurts.”

 

He slid an arm beneath her leg and lifted her. “All right. We’ll get some addictol just in case. Just try to relax.”

 

“I changed my mind.”

 

“About what?” He set her on the table and pulled a knife, cutting away the bloodied clothing, tossing it aside as he surveyed the wound, now partly closed from the stimpack but looking like something out of a nightmare, her whole stomach bruised.

 

She took a deep breath and let the truth spill from her lips, the only thing she’d thought when she’d felt that blade press into her. The pain of it? That hadn’t hit her, not right away. Instead, she’d thought about what he’d said, how she was headed head first toward death, and she realized, she’d been right.

 

“I don’t think I want to die anymore. Fuck, I think I care about dying. Could you, maybe, try to keep that from happening?”

 

He cupped her cheek, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. Solid, steady, unmovable, everything he was. Carrington wasn’t a fighter; he wasn’t Deacon or MacCready. He wasn’t fire, someone who reacted without thought, all rage and passion. He was stone, something that was never going to be pushed, that would do what it damned well wanted as long as it wanted to, and she knew she’d never been in safer hands. “I’m going to do my best, and lucky for you, I’m a damn good doctor. Now, close your eyes; I’ve got work to do.”

 

A needle pressed into her arm, and she slid into darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

Nora was pretty sure a deathclaw had decided to build a nest on her stomach. The pressure there, the ache, the way the damned thing was yanking its claws around inside her, it had her groaning and wanting to go right the fuck back to sleep.

 

Someone used their fingers to pry her eyelids open and shine a light into them, so she swatted the hand away. She would have preferred a more violent response, but that whole deathclaw thing limited her ability.

 

“See, you’re not very charming,” said Carrington.

 

Nora didn’t bother to open her eyes again. Just his voice eased her, told her she’d be okay, that as annoying as this all way, it would work out. Funny that in so short a time, his steady voice meant so much. 

 

“You’re one to talk. Not sure I’ve met a less gentle doctor. So, I’m going to guess I’m gonna live. Can’t imagine Heaven would make me hurt this much, and you wouldn’t be in Hell. You’re an asshole, but I’m pretty sure you’ve done enough good work to buy you a ticket out of there.”

 

“Yes, you’ll live. It was,” he hesitated for a moment, “close. Much too close. The wound was a difficult challenging on its own, plus all the blood you lost, but the biggest threat was that your blood pressure kept spiking, then crashing. You overdosed on three different chems.”

 

“Hancock will be devastated to know he missed such a party.”

 

Nora finally gave in and opened her eyes. Carrington stood beside the bed she laid on, his eyebrows drawn together as he stared down at her. Dark circles rested beneath his eyes, and he looked like he hadn’t stepped away from her bedside in hours. How long had she been out? Even with the unhappiness painted across his face, he presence reassured her. She’d really made it back, she was really alive.

 

“Come on, out with it. You scowl a lot, but that face say there’s more that you don’t want to tell me. Do I have an extra leg or something? Just tell me.”

 

He pressed his lips into a thin line for a moment, then reached out and grasped her hand in a tight hold. “The damage from the knife was severe. It’s why there was so much bleeding, why the wound wouldn’t fully close. I had no choice but to perform a hysterectomy.”

 

The words kicked her in the stomach, where she already hurt. Life liked to do that, to get you in a spot that already was tender. She hadn’t been planning on having more kids, not after Shaun, not while he was still missing, but the idea that the choice had been taken from her?

 

It. . . hurt. It felt like losing another child, like losing all her potential children. All the futures she’d held in the back of her head, the ones where she’d give Shaun a baby brother or sister, where she could still be a mother, they’d been ripped out of her just like the useless organ.

 

“I was able to leave your ovaries, only taking your uterus, so you won’t suffer any hormonal shifts at least. No immediate menopause, but, you won’t be able to bear any more children.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. There was no other way to save your life.”

 

“It’s okay. At least I won’t need any more heating pads, huh?” Her words came out soft, a joke she wasn’t prepared to make, but one safer than admitting just how much this hurt. Instead, she pushed forward to the next topic, unable to think about what this meant for her. “How long am I stuck here?”

 

“With stimpacks and rest, you’ll recover quickly. A week perhaps, and you should be completely healed. However, in that time, you’ll need rest and care. HQ is not a good place for that, especially since I know you’ll try to help out around here. You’ll never rest, not in the midst of this chaos. I’ve spoken to Dez already, and she’s agreed that allowing you to recover at your place in Diamond City is the right choice. It’s quiet, private, and likely to keep you still and out of trouble.”

 

Right. On her own. The thought of dragging herself into Home Plate, to spend that time alone there, it drew a shudder from her. She’d spent little time on her own, usually dragging along someone, anyone, on her adventures. Alone gave her time to think, and thinking was the last thing she liked to do.

 

Maybe she could get Nick to come and stay with her? No, he had a life. She couldn’t ask him to uproot it just because she didn’t like alone time.

 

“I’ve also cleared with her that I will be coming with you. You’re recovering from a serious surgery, and if you have any complications, I don’t trust a fool like Sun to be able to handle it. Your insides right now are some of my best work, and I’d like not to have it ruined because of an easily fixed bleed. Tom has basic training and will handle any medical emergencies in my absence.” He paused, gaze darting away. “That is, if you want me there. If you’re uncomfortable with that arrangement, we can come up with something else.”

 

Nora smiled at the unusual show of nerves from him. Then again, this would be different. It wouldn’t be a stolen moment in the middle of chaos, it would be real time together. Just them, alone. Was she ready for that?

 

She took a deep breath, but nodded. “No, I’d like that. Thanks.”

 

#

 

The trip from the HQ to Diamond City had been grueling. Everything hurt, her body not ready for the walk yet, but they didn't have a choice. Carrington had been right, the moment anything hapened Nora had tried to get up and help. Deacon had gone with them, since Carrington was not a fighter and Nora was in no shape to handle anything larger than a radroach.

 

A small radroach. 

 

“Then, one time, I became a woman for a whole month.” Deacon pushed his glasses further up his nose as they passed the first Diamond City sign.

 

“That never happened, Deacon. Why must you lie to everyone?” Carrington walked beside Nora, close enough he could reach out if she needed it, but far enough for her to not feel smothered.

 

“It’s not a lie! I had boobs and everything.”

 

Carrington looked at Nora. “It never happened. To warn you, our resident pathological liar also likes to tell people he’s a synth.”

 

Nora smiled and bumped her arm against Carrington’s. “We’ve already done that. I fell for it, even tried to read a recall code.”

 

Deacon turned, walking backward. “That recall code was good advice, Charmer. Speaking of good advice, what’s this all about?” He pointed his finger at Nora, then waved it between her and Carrington. “Because this is new, and new things make me uneasy.”

 

“What this is, is none of your business.” Carrington’s tone offered nothing, as clear a stop sign as she’d ever seen.

 

“My job is intel, and that makes everything interesting my business. And this? This is very interesting.”

 

Nora smiled sweetly. “You know, Carrington cut out some parts of my womanly anatomy that were pretty important. Keep this up, and I bet he’ll do the same to you.”

 

Deacon cupped his groin. “My bits are the only thing that’s still original! Do you have any idea the depreciation if they’re gone?” He turned back around, away from them, but called over his shoulder. “Fine, keep your secrets. I have plenty of other interesting things going on.”

 

Carrington grabbed Nora’s arm, bringing her to a stop beside him. He kept his voice low. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position. I’m sure you don’t want people making guesses about anything between us. I should have been more professional when you were injured, not let him realize there might be something, not that I am saying there is anything. . .” His voice trailed off into a string of mumbling. 

 

She read between his words, the worry laced there. He thought she’d be embarrassed, didn’t want to put her in a place where she’d suffer any damage to her reputation due to him.

 

Nora reached behind his neck and pulled him down the few inches to her lips, the first time she’d reached out to kiss him, the first time she’d crossed that distance. He didn’t respond at first, nothing more than a sharp inhale to signal his surprise. After a moment, though, he set a hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer, mirroring her movements, not pushing her for more, just letting her take the lead.

 

Nora pulled away and flashed him a grin before walking after Deacon. “If you think I care what people think about me, you aren’t paying attention. Clearly you’re better with female anatomy than with, well, actual women.”

 

He released a soft laugh before jogging to catch up to her.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Nora moved the whiskey bottles from the table, suddenly ashamed of her slovenly housekeeping. She wanted to explain, that she used to keep a house clean, but now everything was so dirty anyway it didn’t seem to matter. She wanted to pull out pictures of her old perfectly clean and organized house.

 

She wanted to explain that the empty chems on the table weren’t all hers. Before she could stop herself, she spoke. “These aren’t all mine, you know.” She picked them up and tossed them into the trash can by the door, one by one. “This one was. . . well, mine. But this one, no, wait, that’s mine too.” She bit her bottom lip. “Fuck. They are all mine.”

 

Carrington cocked up an eyebrow before walking over and taking her by the arm. “Stop worrying. I’m not here to scold you for your. . . impressive chem and alcohol consumption.”

 

“Not that impressive. They’re not all mine.”

 

“Yes, they are.” He pulled at her arm to get her moving toward the stairs, where the bed was.

 

A tin of mentats stuck out from beneath the couch. She pointed at it. “Look! That was Vadim’s! See, not all mine.”

 

“Yes, I see that the one tin of mentats, out of the hundreds of other containers, was not yours. Would you like me to make a note of it in your records?”

 

“Maybe we should just leave this all out of my official record?”

 

“That would probably be best. Come on, the walk was long, and you should rest.”

 

Nora took the stairs at a slow pace, because even if she hated to admit it, Carrington was right. The trip had sapped all her energy. Her entire lower stomach throbbed, each step tugging at her still healing muscles.

 

At the top of the stairs, a new discomfort arose, one that had nothing to do with her missing parts.

 

They were in her bedroom. Maybe she was foolish, maybe it was some left over from the old world, but she had a man in her bedroom, a man she sort of liked, and it had her fidgeting. Normally her companions would sleep in the bed at the top floor, but that still felt too close.

 

And not nearly close enough.

 

“Nervous?” He helped her to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

“Nope. Not at all.”

 

“I’m not sure why I find your lying charming.”

 

“Maybe that’s why they call me Charmer.” She grinned, trying to hide her anxiety.

 

Carrington sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “Nice deflection. We’re both adults, so talk to me. No reason for us to trip around uncomfortable topics for the next week or two.”

 

She sighed. “I don’t have men in my home.”

 

“I know for a fact that Deacon has spent the night here. You have brought a number of others with you to HQ; I’m sure they’ve slept here.”

 

“They don’t count.”

 

“Really? Because I’ve had the unenviable privilege of seeing Deacon naked, and I can assure you, he is a man.”

 

Nora tried to lean forward, but the action had her wincing when it aggravated her wound. “You’re different. I don’t have plans on having sex with Deacon.” The words had her eyes widening. “Not that I’m saying I plan on that with you, that we would. . . That didn’t come out like I meant it to.”

 

He laughed, leaning forward. “Of course, it didn’t. Not that it matters, you wouldn’t exactly be ready for anything like that for a while, yet. Intercourse is off your agenda for at least a week. Look, I’m here to take care of you. I didn’t orchestrate this for any other reason. I admit, I’m looking forward to spending some time with you for a reason that isn’t entirely professional. I like you, but I’m not going to try to manipulate you into anything. Now, lay back.”

 

She leaned back, and he pressed a hand between her shoulders to help her. He had a way of making things seem so simple. In her head, she twisted everything, made it all so much bigger than it needed to be. Then he’d smile that grin that said she was being absurd and then it all wouldn’t seem so insurmountable.

 

Once she’d laid out on the bed, Carrington grabbed his bag from the floor. “I need to check your wound. Is that okay?”

 

Nora swallowed, but nodded. She reached for the zipper of her vault suit, but even that had her wincing.

 

“Lay still. I’ll help you get this off. You’ll sleep better without it, anyway.” He reached and pulled the zipper down himself, revealing the thin tank top she wore beneath it. She’d given up finding bras that fit, not a huge problem since she’d never been well endowed. He didn’t leer, didn’t make her feel uncomfortable as he slid the suit off her arms.

 

His fingers brushed her hips as he curled his hands around the fabric to work it down over her hips, over her ass. Another few gentle tugs and the snug suit slid off her legs. Carrington folded the suit and placed it on her dresser.

 

He kept his back to her for a moment, taking a deep breath, like maybe he was less unaffected than he liked to pretend.

 

When he turned around, though, his face was all business. He returned to his seat on the side of her bed, tucking his fingers beneath her shirt to pull it up and show her entire stomach. He peered at the wound, not fully healed, a mess of angry red skin and scabs. “I wish I could have done a better job. This will scar; I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey, I wasn’t winning any beauty contests before, I’m not too worried.”

 

His lips tilted down. “You put yourself down too much; You’re stunning. Now, do you hurt?”

 

She shook her head, even though it was a lie. Yeah, she hurt. Her insides felt like one giant bruise. The walk had only made it worse. “No.”

 

“Don’t lie to me. If you don’t want to take chems, I won’t force you to, but you need to tell me the truth. Pain level is important to proper medical care.”

 

“Yeah, I hurt.”

 

“But you don’t want any med-x? Can I ask why?” He didn’t remove his hand from her side.

 

Nora wanted to roll on her side and curl around that hand, to hold it to her, to try and steal a little of that strength. She felt adrift, lost, and she needed something solid. “Med-x makes me loopy. I’m not feeling very well, and I don’t really want to be loopy right now. I’ll just end up crying and no one wants that.”

 

“What can I do?”

 

What could he do? “Will you just stay here with me for a while?”

 

He hesitated, but nodded after a moment. He didn’t lie down beside her, to her disappointment, but rather scooted up so his back rested against the wall.

 

Nora moved over, rolling so her back was to him, laying in the same position they had that first night. “Did you want more kids?”

 

He ran his fingers through her hair. “No. After I lost my son, my life changed. If I had a child, I’d have to put that child above my work, and I don’t think I want to do that. Did you want more?”

 

“I didn’t think I did. If you asked me a week ago, I would have said fuck no, but now. . .”

 

“But now you don’t like the idea of not having the choice?”

 

“Yep.”

 

They fell into an easy silence, but after Carrington fidgeted for the third time, Nora peered over her shoulder at him. “Will you just lie down already?”

 

“I can go to the other bed.”

 

“You could, but I’d rather you stay here.”

 

“You said you didn’t like sleeping beside other people.”

 

She shrugged. “You’re not other people.”

 

He said nothing in response, but after a moment he moved, sliding down until he was behind her, with a good amount of room between them.

 

But within another few minutes, Nora had scooted back until his chest pressed against her back, and his arm wrapped around her.

 

This was much better than Med-x and tears.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Nora woke conflicted. Her wound hurt, the pain worsening through the night as the last of the chems Carrington had given her in HQ wore off. The pain had gotten less severe, but deeper. It ached now, gnawing at her when she moved, but no longer crippling. Fighting with that was the warmth of Carrington’s body wrapped around her.

 

He’d moved during the night, the tension draining from him over the hours they'd rested together. While he’d started out stiff and unhappy, it hadn’t taken long before he’d relaxed against her, molded to her. The arm that had draped over her in a hesitant touch had tightened through the hours, like he was afraid she’d move away. He’d avoided her wound, the entire sore area, like even asleep he’d been aware of her injury and comfort.

 

It was nice. A connection to the world, to the people in it. She wanted to lay there forever, to forget about everything outside those walls.

 

Forget the Institute, the Railroad, everything else. Forget all the people who wanting things from them both. She wanted the world to shrink down to just the two of them in that moment.

 

But that wouldn’t happen.

 

She shifted, holding in a groan at the tugging in her stomach the movement brought.

 

“Hurting?” The word was drenched in sleep, like he hadn’t fully roused before asking it. His fingers spread out against her ribcage, then tightened, thumb rubbing gently over the skin. It warmed her.

 

“A little,” she admitted.

 

“Do you want something to help with the pain?”

 

“Yeah, probably a good idea. I think I’m over my risk of crying.”

 

He pulled his arm away and she released an unhappy sigh at the loss. It signaled the start of day she wasn’t ready to begin.

 

When he sat up however, he hesitated.

 

Nora turned to face him and caught uncertainty across his features, something that didn’t fit his personality. He was nervous. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yes. Um, well, yes.” He didn’t move, sitting at the edge of the bed, tension through his body. He’d leaned forward, away from her arms set on his knees. "I'm fine. Of course."

 

Nora narrowed her gaze and tried to sit up, hissing against the pain in he wound.

 

Carrington turned back to her and pressed his hand against her shoulder to move her back down.

 

And the action revealed exactly what his issue was, why he was acting so strange.

 

Nora laid back down and gave into her laughing fit. It hurt, each laugh followed by a pained gasp that couldn’t stop the next laugh. A hand pressed against her lower stomach to help, but it still hurt. “You’re seriously being weird about a little morning wood?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His lips pressed together in a thin line. Looked like the good doctor didn’t like being the one in the spotlight.

 

“Now you’re the liar, huh? Come on, you’re the one who keeps telling me you’re a doctor. Do we need to have a discussion about how this is a perfectly normal part of male physiology?” Her cheeks ached from the way she grinned at his discomfort.

 

Something about having him unsure made her damned near giddy. He was always unflappable, always in control, and watching red color his cheeks while he struggled with a response was the best gift she’d had in a while. It felt like a private moment, a part of him he never showed to anyone else. Something that was theirs alone.

 

“You know, polite people would let this pass without mocking it or drawing attention.” He went to get off the bed, to flee if Nora had a guess. He’d return to help her, she knew, but he wanted to collect himself, to get his poker face back on.

 

But that was the last thing Nora wanted.

 

She grabbed his hand to stop him. “Yeah, but we both know I’m not polite, and besides, I didn’t say it bothered me, did I?”

 

Carrington turned his gaze to hers, his face that mixture of amusement and chastisement she’d grown accustomed to. He leaned down, bracing his weight on his elbow beside her. “You are infuriating, you know that?”

 

“Yeah, but you like it, so what does that say about you?”

 

He ran his fingers along her jawline. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

“I thought you said sex was off limits?”

 

“You are getting ahead of yourself. We’re not having sex; I just wanted to kiss you. So, do you want me to stop?”

 

“No. In fact, if you stop, I’ll shoot you.”

 

He laughed, his breath spilling over her lips before he leaned in and kissed her. His fingers stroked along her jaw, then down over her throat. She tried to deepen the kiss, but he kept it light, gentle. His lips slid against hers, tasting her, tempting her.

 

He moved his hand over her collarbone, then down over her ribcage, fingers finding each dip and rise, but avoiding her breast. He stayed on the outside of her tank top, but the touch still went straight to her core.

 

She arched up into the touch, trying to get him to move to where she wanted. She didn’t want this slow shit, this teasing. She wanted him to touch her, to take her, to do everything she knew she needed. He ignored her silent request, the only acknowledgement of her demand a slight grin from him. But, like the stone she thought of him as, he wouldn’t be moved. He went as far and as fast as he wanted to and no more.

 

His hand went to her hip, careful to avoid her wound. He wrapped around the side, his thumb on her hipbone and his fingers on her ass, over the fabric of her panties, never enough. Nora lifted her leg to wrap around his hip, to try and pull him closer, but the movement had her drawing in a pained gasp.

 

He pulled back, eyes scanning down, turning hard and clinical. “Yeah, why don’t we slow down get you that Med-x.”

 

“You’re a tease, you know that?”

 

He laughed, capturing her lips in one last kiss. “You’re not ready for anything more. Doctor’s orders.”

 

“Yes, sir,” she said, trying on her most seductive voice.

 

Carrington stood, then cast a look over his shoulder, a smile on his lips. “Who’s the tease now?”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

“And this is the market place. It is for buying stuff. Though Myrna is insane, so just don't talk to her.” Nora spread her arm out like she was giving the finest tour instead of just showing Carrington around Diamond City.

 

“You do realize I’ve been here before, right?”

 

She. . . hadn’t. “I guess I just assumed you never left HQ.”

 

“While it seems like that at times, I can assure you, I do get out from time to time. I know Diamond City quite well.”

 

“Figures. You know, I never get to be the one who knows anything anymore. I miss that. Everyone I’ve met knows this world better than I do.”

 

“I’m quite sure you know more than I do about a great many topics.”

 

“Like male anatomy?”

 

“You will never let that go, will you?”

 

“Well, letting go implies some touching, and you didn’t let me do that.”

 

He frowned as he opened the door for her, waiting for her to go ahead.

 

Nora offered her sweetest smile, the sort that pretended ignorance at his discomfort with her comment.

 

“Nora!” The roar of Vadim’s voice had her almost skipping ahead.

 

The barkeep was one of her favorite people in town. He came up with harebrained schemes, usually ones she went alone with all too happily, sometimes ones Nick had to save them from. However, his booming voice and carefree attitude was hard to dislike. He and his brother had turned into family in Diamond City, two people she could always count on.

 

“It has been too long, little one.” He came out from behind the bar and wrapped his arms around Nora. The first time he’d done this, she’d been reminded why people called them bear hugs. The man had a chest the side of a fridge, and he wasn’t careful when he enfolded her against his chest. Of course, it had her wincing in pain.

 

“Careful,” snapped Carrington.

 

Vadim loosened his grip but pulled her beneath his arm and against his side. “Who is this?”

 

“I am her Doctor, and she is still healing. She doesn’t need someone to further injure her.”

 

Vadim pulled her from his side and stared down at her, eyebrows draw together. “Injured? What happened? Who do we need to kill?”

 

“Thanks, buddy, but I already killed ‘em. I took a knife to the stomach.” She pulled up the shirt she had on, pulling down the line of her pants to reveal the angry red wound like it was the best battle scar in the world. “Going to have a hell of a scar. I think I could win a couple bar bets about scars now.”

 

Vadim crouched, putting his face close her the wound. “That is bad. Were they trying to gut you?”

 

“Not sure, I didn’t wait around long enough to ask. So, does this get me free drinks?”

 

Carrington chimed in. “No alcohol. You need to devote your bodies resources to healing, not to nursing hangovers.”

 

Vadim looked up at Nora, seeming to ignore Carrington. “He is bossy for a doctor. I see things, you know, and I see more than a doctor. What is his name?”

 

Nora flushed as she realized. . . she had no idea. Everyone in the Railroad used codenames, or well, everyone but her. She had one, but she still brandished her real one around. She didn't have people to protect, so she'd never seen a reason to cling to a codename.  

 

Vadim laughed at that look. “You have no idea his name? Oh, little one, if I were younger and smarter, the things I’d do with you.” He stood, then stuck his hand out to Carrington. “Vadim. I run this place with my brother, Yefim. And Nora here is our good friend.

 

“Richard.” Carrington shook Vadim’s hand, the two men eyeing each other before offering smile and taking a step back.

 

Nora figured that was the best she could hope for. “Well, it seems I can’t have alcohol. I’ll take a Nuka Cola, cherry if you’ve got it, but whatever is fine.”

 

“That is almost as bad battery acid, you know.”

 

“Delicious battery acid, yes. What will you have, Richard?”

 

Carrington sighed. “Water will suffice, thank you.”

 

Nora nodded back toward a table, Carrington following her. “Is your name really Richard?”

 

“Yes, it really is. I guess I forgot you wouldn’t know that. We've never really done a full introduction. My name is Richard Liam.”

 

“Where did you get Carrington from?”

 

He took the water Yefim set on the table with a nod of thank you. “Carrington was my wife’s maiden name. It seemed a fitting tribute to carry on in her name. And you, why did you pick Charmer? As I’ve said, you are not that charming. It seems a great many other names would be far more fitting.”

 

Nora popped the cap off her Nuka Cola and placed the cap in her pocket. “Nate, my husband, would smile at the things I did that drove him nuts. He was proper, educated, an officer in the military. He’d grown up like that, and he was rigid like you wouldn’t believe and I’m, well, none of those things. So I’d make some stupid joke, or innuendo, or something and he’d smile at me and say, beneath his breath ‘charming.’ It was a way to scold me, I guess, but he said it with so much affection it just made me feel loved. So, I guess, I took that name because of him.”

 

Part of Nora was worried to tell that story. She and Carrington had never really discussed much of their pasts, not really. They knew a few details, but they had no idea about specifics. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know about his wife, about the woman who had given him a son, the woman he’d loved. She didn’t know if he wanted to know about Nate. They were two sides of the same coin in some ways, both having lost their spouse and their child, but details felt intimate.

 

Would he be angry? Jealous? Resent her for what she and Nate had?

 

He took another drink, slow, like he was thinking. “I guess we never really outrun our past, do we? Even as we move forward, we carry it with us. The people we lose, they stay with us, no matter what.”

 

Somehow, the fact that he didn’t downplay Nate, or their past, helped. He didn’t pretend she wasn’t still hurting, didn’t pretend there wasn’t still something there between her and her late husband. Then again, he’d understand, wouldn’t he?

 

“Yeah, they do.”

 

Carrington reached across the table and grabbed Nora’s hand, a gentle squeeze to remind her she wasn’t alone, that even though she’d lost Nate, she still wasn’t alone.

 

“Will you sleep with me again?”

 

He started coughing, leaning forward, seeming to have choked on his drink.

 

Nora got up and slammed her hand down on his back a few times. “You’re not a fish, Carrington, you can’t breathe water. Did you miss that day of med school?”

 

He caught his breath after a moment, then tossed her a glare. “As you well know, we don’t go to med school.”

 

“Ah, man, no fancy diploma for the wall?”

 

“You can’t just ask questions like that in public. People will get the wrong idea about us.”

 

“What idea? That I like you, because I don’t think I’m fooling anyone.” She sat in his lap, legs to the side so she just perched on his thighs, slow so she didn’t bother her stomach. “So, will you?”

 

He frowned, but set his hand on her lower back like he couldn’t help it.  “It’s not a great idea.”

 

Nora leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Why not?”

 

“Because, you didn’t lose your husband that long ago. I've had a long time to move on, but you haven't, not yet. You haven't had time to heal and decide what you want. This is all moving a bit fast. Sleeping in such close proximity increases the chance of something happening in the heat of the moment you might regret later.”

 

She moved her lips to the edge of his jaw. His hand tightened against her, almost like an involuntary flex from wanting to hold, to grab.

 

Those moments, those tiny movements that said he wanted this, she loved them. The cracks in his control, they made her smile.

 

“Please?”

 

He sighed, leaning back to look into her eyes. “Alright, but I was serious. No intercourse, and that is a medical requirement, not simply chivalry.”

 

“If this is what doctors do, I need to change jobs,” Vadim said from behind the bar, his laughter filling the space.

 

Carrington stiffened beneath Nora, but not in the way she’d like.

 

Nora pulled him to his feet and walking him toward the exit.

 

Before they left, Nora cast a smile at Vadim. “What can I say? I’m a very sick girl who needs thorough medical attention.”

 

Carrington groaned as he opened the door for her. As she passed, he caught her arm and leaned in, lips brushing her ear. “Charming.”


	9. Chapter 9

 

Nora laid in her bed, Carrington beside her, asleep she guessed. The rest of the day had passed with ease, between the basic chores of life. She sold off gear from around her place to Arturo, since Myrna refused to deal with her. They’d picked up noodles for dinner.

 

Stopped in and visited Nick. All the things that made up a simple life.

 

It made her wonder if they’d ever have this. Did this really exist in the world anymore? Could it exist in their world?

 

One day, when the Institute had been dealt with, when the Brotherhood was no longer a threat, could they live out their days in peace? Not looking over their shoulders for the Institute, not worried about coursers showing up?

 

She lacked the faith that it would ever happen. If they lived through these threats, there would always be more, always be something else. Life never let you get settled. The last time she settled, when she'd been happy, a wife with a loving husband and a perfect son, life had seen fit to screw her over.

 

But, for this short time, they could pretend.

 

Carrington had tried to get out of sleeping beside her. He’d offered to go to the other bed, the one on the next floor, against saying he didn't want to rush her. Another please had him giving in. Eventually, he’d gotten into the bed, stripped down to sweatpants and a shirt, giving him an odd casual look. Still, when the mattress had groaned beneath his weight, when he’d settled in beside her, she’d smiled.

 

Nora fidgeted, a tension she couldn’t shake inside her. When was the last time her body had really wanted something like this? Sure, she had urges, everyone did. But those urges without a base felt like a random hunger pang compared to the desire when you saw a delicious steak, when your mouth watered because you felt like you needed it.

 

And just beside her, asleep, was the source of all that frustration, so close and yet so damned far away.

 

He wanted slow. He wanted careful. He’d offered a tentative kiss before settling in to sleep, enough to wind her up but that was all.

 

She could understand it, even appreciate it. Hell, how many men would want to go slow just because they were worried about her? When she thought about Nate, she hurt. It was a wound that refused to close, but it wasn’t one she was sure would ever really close. That didn’t mean she couldn’t try to move on. He’d have wanted that, wanted her to be happy.

 

All of that was secondary, though. Right then? Right then she wanted to satisfy a basic biological need, to burn off this need that had been simmering since he’d brushed his lips against her that first time, since she’d realized that maybe that part of her life wasn’t totally over.

 

Nora brushed her fingers against her collarbone, mimicking the touch Carrington had done when he’d kissed her. She continued, moving her fingers down her chest. She skimmed over her breasts, catching her nipples which showed even through the fabric of her shirt. He hadn’t done that, but she’d wanted him to so bad.

 

It had her inhaling sharply. The fact that such a light touch could get a reaction said how wound up she was.

 

She could get herself off in a few minutes, if that, she was sure of it. Her gaze darted to him, but he still hadn’t moved. He was rolled toward her, eyes closed, chest rising and falling evenly. She’d just get up, but he’d wake up and question her. There was no way he’d let her slip from that bed without a full explanation, and she could just imagine the way he’d cock his brow and tell her to lay back down.

 

No, she either had to do this here or not at all.

 

Nora brought one hand up to her lips, covering her mouth to keep herself quiet. She’d never been good at being quiet, but she didn’t need to wake him. She took her other hand and continued the trek down her body, avoiding the large wound, and tracing the line of her panties.

 

One of her knees lifted, sliding out, to give her access. She dipped her fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and slid them along her slit. That touch alone had her shiver in need.

 

It had been so long since she’d even done this, with everything else taking her time, requiring her attention. When wash the last time she just laid back and enjoyed something?

 

Her gaze moved to Carrington again, but she couldn’t hold that sight. It felt creepy, to watch him sleep while she masturbated right beside him, like some sort of invasion of his privacy. He still seemed to be asleep, so she let her eyes drift close to lose herself in the feeling of her fingers against her cunt.

 

She let her mind wander. She would have thought that, when doing this, she’d have pictured Nate. They’d spent many years happily married, but his face didn’t come to her. Instead, it was that of the doctor beside her.

 

She pictured his hands, his long, dexterous fingers, pressing against her. She imagined his fingers gathering the wetness from her slit, then dragging them up to her clit. He’d be slow, methodical, like he did everything else. He’d watch for every little reaction, every sign, because it was how he lived, by observation. She couldn't hide a thing from him.

 

She released a soft whimper, muffled by the hand still across her lips. She was close, but not there, not yet. Heat coiled inside her, pulling her closer, making her more frantic for release.

 

She imagined Carrington’s soft lips kissing down her body, the way they’d capture a nipple, tease her, drive her crazy beneath him while he remained, as always, in control. When she begged him for more, his lips would just tilt up at the corners, that grin that said he was going to do as he damn well pleased the way he wanted to, because he knew what was best.

 

She removed her hand from her mouth, needing something else, needing more. She cupped her breast with that hand, using her thumb to brush over her nipple. A hiss escaped her lips at the touch. Not enough. She pulled down the neckline of her shirt, hooking it beneath her breast. Her fingers plucked at her nipple, first gently, stroking it, before tightening in a pinch that had a moan leaving, a moan she tried to silence.

 

The hand in her panties tried to speed, to increase the amount of pressure, anything to push her over the edge, to release all that tension that had collected.

 

She tried to slide a finger into her cunt, wanting to feel filled, to imagine it was Carrington there, perched above her, sliding into her.

 

She tightened her abs to roll her hips forward in a desperate thrust, but the action had her gasping in pain as it aggravated her still healing muscles.

 

A hand closed over her wrist, and Nora' eyes snapped open.

 

Carrington laid beside her, awake, holding the wrist of the hand still in her panties, and staring right at her.

 

Fuck. 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Nora tried to pull away, but Carrington didn’t release his grip as he stared at her. He said nothing, like he was still piecing together what happened.

 

He pulled her hand from her panties in a gentle tug. “I heard you gasp. You hurt yourself,” he chided, voice stroking against her in the darkness and silence of the room. His thumb rubbed a soft circle against her wrist.

 

“It’s your fault.”

 

“Mine?” He continued the caress as he lifted her hand between them.

 

“Yes. You’re not stupid, you can’t not know how you affect me. I thought you were going to stay asleep and I could take care of this myself. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She jerked her gaze away.

 

He took a deep breath but didn’t release her. “You can’t do this.” He brought her hand up between them and slid her fingers past his lips, cleaning her wetness from them.

 

A soft moan left her lips at the sight, at the sheer promise there.

 

“You’re still healing. Remember what I said?”

 

“You said no intercourse.”

 

“I guess I should have been more clear. You have a risk of infection until you fully heal. Nothing inside you. One week.”

 

“But-“

 

He quieted her by sliding his tongue along another finger. “But I could help you. You’ll just lie back, and I can take care of you.”

 

“You said you didn’t want to do this.”

 

“No, I said I didn’t think you were ready for this, there is a difference. Trust me, I want this, but not at the expense of you regretting it. Having you hurting yourself because you’re trying to take care of yourself on your own is not a better option, though. So, do you want me to help? You can say no. We’ll roll over and go to sleep and pretend this never happened.”

 

“I want you,” she whispered.

 

He pressed another kiss to her hand before releasing her. He sat up, his eyes tracing down her body.

 

Nora noted her state of partial undress, reaching up to fix the neckline of her shirt.

 

He grasped her hands, stopping her. “You can’t be getting shy on me, can you? I’ve probably seen more of your body than any other person.”

 

She wet her lips with her tongue before putting her hands back down.

 

He ran a finger across the waistband of her panties, and it was exactly like she’d pictured in her head. He didn’t press his fingers beneath the fabric, instead sliding his hand to pressed against her through the panties.

 

Nora gasped at the touch, her hips raising, but it caused her wince.

 

He stilled. “You’re not ready for this. I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“So, stop. I’ll take care of myself. Unless you tie me down, I can assure you, I’m not going to bed without coming.” She knew the words came out harsh, but she couldn’t help it. That need had twisted into frustration inside her since he stopped her, when she’d been so damned close.

 

“A dose of Med-x, and you will hold still.”

 

Even though he didn’t ask, she still nodded. Hell, she’d have agreed to anything if he just touched her.

 

He reached over for his bag, pulling a dose of med-x. He took her arm, injecting the small amount, then disposing the needle in the trash.

 

His fingers dipped into the hips of her panties, and he pulled them off without needing her to lift her hips. Her knees came together, and he laughed. “Again with the nerves? Come on, relax. Trust me.”

 

“I let you take a scalpel to my insides. I think that shows some trust.” She took a deep breath, the meds easing the discomfort in her, until she let her thighs fall open.

 

“Do you have any idea how good you look? The first time you walking into HQ, you made me nervous.” His fingertips slid down over her mouth, a slow touch that sparked back to life the fire that had started too cool in her. “You handed me that prototype, wearing that vault suit, specks of blood still on you, with a smile on your lips. Amazing. I had to work hard to keep it off my face.”

 

“Really? Because you were an asshole to me.”

 

“I’m an asshole to everyone. If I’d done anything different with you it would have been obvious how deep inside my head you get.” His fingers finally slid down to her slit, brushing against her but not entering her. It was everything she’d imagined, far better than she’d pictured. His touch was sure, gentle but not hesitant. He brought his fingers up to her clit, wet from her slit, sliding against her and drawing a moan from her lips.

 

He leaned in and captured the still exposed nipple, wrapping his tongue around it. Nora reached up, slipping a hand behind his neck. He cast her a grin before he used the flat of his tongue against her, then sat, returning his gaze between her legs.

 

Carrington pulled the hood back from her clit, rubbing directly at her nub. When she tried to lift her hips again, he set his free hand against her leg to keep her still but didn’t waver in his movements, in his rhythm.

 

He gathered more of her wetness on his thumb before pressing harder against her clit, flicking it as he moved over it. She wanted to thrust up, to beg him to fuck her, to give her what she really wanted. However, he wouldn’t listen, she knew.

 

His gaze was pinned between her legs, eyebrows draw together as he watched himself play with her. It made her feel exposed to him, totally open to anything he wanted, and it drove her higher. All that need stretched tight inside her, and her fingers curled into the blanket.

 

He leaned down and kissed her, deeper than before, slipping his tongue past her lips. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, a mimic of what she wanted him to do elsewhere. His fingers closed around her clit, and her hips lifted up without her thinking about it.

 

That tension snapped, her body tightening down as she came. As soon as it started to ease, she realized how much the med-x helped. Her wound ached as soon as she started to come down, when her muscles unknitted.

 

But, fuck, even without it, she would have done this. She wished she’d done this that first night, just pulled him into some corner of HQ and touched him.

 

Her chest rose and fell in heavy pants. Carrington drug his tongue along her nipple once more before he pulled her shirt up, covering her. He then pulled the blanket over her instead of trying to replace her panties.

 

He laid beside her, giving her space. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I am.” Nora rolled toward him, slinging one arm and one leg over his body, soaking up his warmth. Her leg pressed against his erection, and he sucked in a breath. "Do you want me to. . ." She moved her leg to rub against him.

 

Carrington groaned, then reached down and adjusted her so her leg wasn't touching his length. "No. I didn't do that so you'd return the favor."

 

"I know that, but I want to." 

 

He shook hies head, sliding his arm beneath her. "I think this is far more than enough for one night. It was too fast, I think. I'm worried you'll wake up and regret it, that I'll have taken advantage of you."

 

His words confused her, a repetition of the same thing he always said. Why was he so afraid she'd regret this? Why was he so sure she'd be sorry about it? Every time she clung closer, he'd push her away a bit, like he knew she'd wake up eventually and realize it was all a bad idea.

 

"I won't regret it."

 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We’ll see if you think the same thing tomorrow, won’t we? Now, get some sleep.”

 

She wanted to argue, but when he started to hum, she decided that everything else could wait until morning.


	11. Chapter 11

Nora drank her coffee at her table, Carrington eating his noodles across from her.

 

“You know, coffee isn’t a meal.”

 

“You’re right. You can skip meals and be fine. Coffee is more like oxygen.” Nora sipped some, hands soaking up the warmth, inhaling the aroma. So, the coffee wasn’t anything like it had been. It wasn’t like anyone was transporting coffee beans anymore, and she had no idea what it was made of anymore, and she felt it was best not to ask.

 

She simply bought the powder from Vadim and brewed it, like the old instant coffee.

 

“You need calories.”

 

“This has milk in it. That has calories.”

 

He released a sigh before holding out a fork with noodles twisted around it. “Eat.”

 

Nora leaned forward and took the bite of food. Better to give in than trying to argue with him; she doubted she’d win.

 

Neither had mentioned the night before, hadn't address what had happened. When she’d woken up, Carrington was already down stairs, dressed, professional as ever. He'd said good morning with a level of distance that made her uncomfortable, that stung. 

 

Not that Nora managed that level of casual disinterest. She’d blushed, not meeting his gaze, curling into herself. She'd come down in just a large shirt, hoping to tempt him, to have some sense of domestic bliss between them. It made her feel foolish, and she hunched her shoulders against her stupid ideas. 

 

It wouldn’t have been so bad if he’d reacted somehow, if he’d kissed her cheek, if he smiled, or did anything to say the night before had even happened.

 

No such luck.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

She tucked her hair behind her ear and took another drink of coffee. “What do you mean?”

 

Carrington leaned forward, placing his arm on the table. “Nora, look at me.”

 

She met his gaze.

 

“You’ve been acting strange all morning. Is it because of last night?” His voice was low, like he was trying to coax it from him.

 

Nora set her cup down. “You’ve been ignoring me.”

 

“I’m talking to you and trying to have a meal with you. How is that me ignoring you?”

 

“You were out of bed before I even woke up.”

 

“I didn’t want to crowd you. Last night was,” he hesitated, “new. I wanted to give you time to sort it out in your head.”

 

“Why are you so sure I’m going to regret this? You keep shoving me away and I don’t get it.”

 

Carrington pushed the food away, then rubbed his eyes with his hands. “I’ve been where you are, Nora. I’ve dealt with how you feel when you lose your spouse. I didn’t even get to bury my wife, didn’t get to say goodbye. You need time to heal after that, time to get your feet beneath you. It was years before I did that, before I’d worked through it enough to be ready. You haven’t had years, you’ve barely had half a year, and in that time, you’ve had plenty of other things to deal with. You deserve that time before someone swoops in, lusting after you.”

 

Nora frowned, watching the way his shoulders dropped, shame written across his fast. She heard what he didn’t say, the parts to the story he didn’t say. “You didn’t wait that time, did you?”

 

He tapped his fingers on the table. “You may not be charming, but you’re good at reading people. You’ve been around Deacon too much. No, I didn’t wait. The synth who replaced my wife. . .” his voice trailed off, face twisting in pain.

 

“You and the synth?”

 

He nodded. “I was lonely, and she reminded me so much of my wife. I mean, she looked just like her, completely identical. It felt almost like a second chance, like I could just slide back into a life and not have to suffer losing my real wife. But, she wasn’t my wife. And after I lost her, too, I realized that I hadn’t been ready. I’d just been trying to find anything to distract me, to make it easier to bear the pain. I regret it, every day. I feel like I spat in my wife’s face, like I spat on everything we had by moving on with that synth.” He took a deep breath that shuddered out of him. “I’m afraid of doing that to you, of being that to you. I’m terrified I’m going to wake up beside you and you’re going to look at me, and I’m going to see you hate yourself because of me.”

 

Nora approached him, slowly, like he might bolt. She slid into his lap, her thighs parting around his hips, facing him. “You didn’t spit on her or her memory. When we lose people, we cope however we can. She wouldn’t have blamed you for that.”

 

He set his hands on her hips, but didn’t meet her gaze. “How can you know that?”

 

Nora grasped his chin to raise his face to hers. “Would you have blamed her? If she’d been the one to survive, would you have faulted her for trying to find some happiness where she could?”

 

“No. Of course not.”

 

“That’s how I know she wouldn’t blame you.” She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. “You can’t blame yourself for coping however you could at the time.”

 

“And you? How can I let you do this when I live with this regret?”

 

“Because I’m not going to regret this. I’m not trying to replace Nate with you.” She tried to kiss him again, but he gave her nothing back, his hands flexing at her hips the only sign he felt the kiss at all. “If you don’t want me, fine. I can accept that. I won’t crowd you, won’t push you, but don’t push me away just because you think I’m not ready.”

 

This time Carrington moved his hand to the back of her neck to keep her still while he studied her face. “And why do you want me? You could have anyone, not just some washed up, past his prime, unpleasant doctor.”

 

“Because you’re the only solid thing in my world. I lost everything. It all slipped away, and I woke up in a world where nothing made sense. You are stone, a rock I can trust to never move, to never change, to hold fast. You keep me grounded, and make me think that maybe this world is something I could adapt to. You were right, I wanted to die at first. Or, at least, I didn’t care about living. I couldn’t hold onto anything, couldn’t fit in. It was you that gave me that link to this time, that made me realize I could build a life, that maybe you could be part of that life.”

 

He grabbed her thighs and stood, moving her off his lap and onto the table. He moved between her thighs, sliding his hand into her hair, tightening his hand in a tight grip to keep her still while he kissed her.

 

He claimed her mouth, a deep kiss that seemed to contain all those things he’d held back, all the ways he’d been cautious. That chain he’d had on his behavior, it had snapped, and he devoured her.

 

After a moment, he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this? How many times I’ve thought about you before I told myself to stop, that it wasn’t appropriate, that you weren’t ready. I’ve been repeating it in my head every single night. I can’t believe I’m finally going to have you.”

 

“What about last night?”

 

“Last night I had to stay detached. It was supposed to be for you, nothing else.”

 

“You said we couldn’t have sex.”

 

“We can’t.” He stole one more deep kiss before sliding to his knees in front of her. “But I don’t think you’ll mind by the time I'm finished with you." 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Carrington on his knees? Had there ever been a better sight? That soft smirk, the one that said he knew exactly what he was doing, all arrogance, it melted her. Finally, they were honestly giving in to whatever they had between them.

 

Fine, so he wasn’t going to actually have sex with her. She doubted anything pushed that doctor side of him away, so there was no chance he’d go back on that. No matter what she said or how she begged, he’d put her safety and health above anything else. It was woven so deep into him that she didn’t even have to consider it.

 

But after all the back and forth, the taking things slow, there was finally nothing in their way. They weren’t fighting against each other, against what they wanted. It was real, it was an attempt, it was something she hadn’t realized how much she needed.

 

He slid his hands up the outsides of her thighs, drawing goosebumps from her, until he wrapped his fingers around the waist of her panties. The warmth of his fingers had her moaning even from the innocent touch, and the promise in his dark eyes. She lifted her hips off the table, and he pulled the cloth down her legs, discarding them somewhere. His hands pressed against her knees to spread her thighs, and she didn’t fight it.

 

He’d made it clear he liked her, so she shoved any shyness away. Hard to be shy why when looked so hungry as he stared between her legs.

 

He leaned forward and licked up her slit, a slow and light motion.

 

Nora gasped, back straightening at the touch. His chuckle blew air over her, and had her glaring down at him. While his arrogance had some charm, she was a bit tired of him winning, of him doing whatever he wanted. Nora wasn’t a passive person, and she was tired of being passive.

 

“I think you’ve controlled this long enough,” she said before moving off the table and knocking him backward, so he laid flat on the ground. “I think I’m tired of going at your speed.” She straddled him and ground herself against him. She leaned down and kissed him, tasting herself and the noodles he’d had for breakfast, her hands on his chest to hold him still.

 

His hands went to her hips, controlling the way she moved against him, pulling her harder against him, meeting her kiss with as much passion, as much aggression.

 

This was what she’d wanted, this drowning feeling, to know he wanted her, too. He could be so damned hard to read, so quick to push her away for her own good or some other stupid reason. He’d turned her down, slowed her advances so many times, she sometimes worried he wasn’t interested at all. This though? This soothed her. She wanted to feel him lost to her, feel him wanting her, needing her.

 

He let one hand drift beneath her shirt and cup her breast, teasing the nipple to a point. Nora slid her hips down to give her room. She moved her own hand beneath the waist of his pants, to grasp his cock, a fast move so he couldn’t think, couldn’t stop her.

 

He broke the kiss on a groan and some strangled sound that had to be a curse. “I’m in over my head with you.”

 

Nora laughed, tongue tracing his lips. “Well, that’s only fair, don’t you think?” She stroked him in slow, tight grip, savoring the way his hips raised at the contact. “How long has it been?”

 

“A really long time,” he admitted, hips lifting toward her hand again, a silent plea for more.

 

She wanted to respond, to say something sultry, but a knock on the door stopped her. “Go away!” She managed to keep the threats off her lips.

 

“Nora Jacobs? I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s Diamond City security.”

 

“Don’t care! Come back later.” She slid her thumb against the head of his cock, trying to memorize him even without seeing him. “Much, much later.”

 

“This won’t take more than a few minutes, and it is important.”

 

Nora dropped her head against Carrington’s chest. “Can I shoot them?”

 

He gripped her wrist to extract her hand from his pants, then kissed the top of her head. “No, you can’t.”

 

She stood, grabbing a pair of pants from the dresser in the living room.

 

Another knock had her yelling. “You can wait a minute!” She looked over at Carrington. “You go get into bed. I’ll deal with whatever that is and get rid of them. Oh, and I expect you to be naked.”

 

He pulled her against him and kissed her again before stepping back. “That is something I think I can do. Try not to take too long.”

 

Nora bit on her bottom lip as she watched him go up the stairs. Yeah, she wouldn’t let this take long at all. It didn’t matter if the entire city was overrun with Super Mutants, nothing was keeping her from the man getting into her bed.

 

The Security Guards took a step back when she opened the door, probably having caught sight of all the unhappiness on her face. Yeah, her reputation wasn’t a great one, but at least it seemed these guards had some brains.

 

“What do you want? And it better be something pretty fucking important.” She could have softened her voice, but sexual frustration did poor things for her attitude.

 

A woman stood between the two guards, tears streaming down her face. She was gorgeous. There really was no other way to put it. Long blonde hair was braided, draping over one shoulder, a clean and beautiful dress showing off her figure. She was tall, thin, perfect cheekbones. Pre-war she’d be a model, probably, the sort of woman Nora would have worked so hard to look like. Hell, Nora wanted to hate her on principle alone, if it wasn’t for the fact the woman was clearly upset.

 

Even Nora had a heart. Sometimes.

 

“This woman is looking for you,” one of the guards said. “If you don’t know her, we’ll take her away. Didn’t want to escort her out if she was one of your tag alongs, though.”

 

“Do I know you?” Nora tried to keep her voice gentle, to not further scare the clearly frightened woman.

 

“I need to follow the freedom trail,” she said softly.

 

Synth. It only took the pass code to know she’d escaped the Institute. How she knew about Nora, she had no idea. Maybe another synth had mentioned her? Nora wasn’t shy about her feelings when it came to synths, so maybe someone figured it out or maybe it was a good guess.

 

Didn’t matter, it meant she had to help her.

 

Nora wrapped an arm around the woman, waving off the guards. “Yeah, I know her. Go on, it’s fine.” Nora lead the woman inside, locking the door behind her. “Are you okay? Hurt?”

 

She shook her head and pulled away from Nora. “I saw you with someone yesterday, in the Inn. Is he here?”

 

There was no way to hide the suspicion on Nora’s face, and the woman took a step backward. Smart. Nora could be careless with her own life, but she was protective of others. “Why? What do you know about him? Who are you?”

 

Carrington’s steps coming down the stairs drew Nora’s attention. Not naked, but that was probably best. She didn’t want a woman like this anywhere near Carrington naked.

 

Nora knew what she was, had mostly accepted it, but this woman? She made Nora remember all the things she wasn’t.

 

The woman lifted her gaze, and adoration filled that perfect face. “Richard.”

 

“Hello, Sarah.” Carrington came no further, standing at the foot of the stairs, face carefully blank.

 

“Who is she?” Nora's gaze darted between Sarah and Carrington, their gazes on each other as if Nora wasn't even there. 

 

The woman turned on Nora, back straight like she’d gotten back a bit of her courage by seeing him. “My name is Sarah Liam, and I’m Richard’s wife.”


	13. Chapter 13

 

 “Wife?” Nora took a step backward, the words drifting into the room but ignored by everyone. No one was looking at Nora, no one paying attention to her.

 

Sarah crossed the living room at a run and threw herself into Carrington’s arms, and there went the waterworks again.

 

He took a breath, but wrapped his arms around her, hand patting her back in comfort.

 

“Oh, Richard, I missed you so much. I had no idea where you’d gone, where you were. It’s been so long.” She angled her face up and kissed him, her perfect lips sliding against his with far too much familiarity.

 

But they were familiar, weren’t they? Who knew how many times the two had fucked, had laid in each other’s arms. Sure, Sarah wasn’t his real wife, but they’d still have likely spent years together before she came clear and admitted it hadn’t been her.

 

Nora turned her head away, unable to watch. Some bitter, ugly part of Nora wondered if Sarah could taste Nora on his lips, the same part almost smiling at the thought. She shoved that away before Carrington read it on her face.

 

Carrington broke the kiss and disentangled Sarah’s arms from him. He stepped away. “How are you here? Why?”

 

“I. . .” she paused, frowning. “I don’t remember exactly.” Her bottom lip quivered. “Why don’t I remember, Richard? I can’t remember.”

 

Carrington steered her over to the couch, getting her to sit. She tried to pull him down beside her, but he remained on his feet.

 

“You don’t remember everything because of the safeguards the Institute has. They wipe certain memories when a synth leaves the Institute to prevent them from finding their way back. Just try and remember why you came. Don’t focus on how you got here, doing that will only make it more difficult to remember. Anything to do with travel to and from the Institute won’t be accessable.” Carrington took a step backward, though he hadn’t looked back at Nora yet.

 

She wasn’t sure she wanted him to look at her. She didn’t know what she wanted to see in his face, and she was terrified she’d see something else.

 

This was his wife? At least, the synth who had replaced her. It meant physically they were identical. Nora pulled at the hemline of her large shirt, then brushed her hair out of her face with her fingers.

 

Like that shit would help at all.

 

“I don’t know,” Sarah whispered. “It was important, but I can’t remember.”

 

Carrington nodded. “It’s fine. Sit there for a moment, please? I need to step outside with Nora. Perhaps some quiet would help you remember.” Carrington still didn’t look at Nora as he walked up the stairs toward the roof exit.

 

Nora left Sarah, who sat on the couch, head dropped forward, eyebrows drawn together in frustration.

 

Nora locked the front door, then followed Carrington. She passed the bed, blankets still askew on it. So much for prefect moments. Would they ever get that back? Or had Sarah shattered it all?

 

Once outside, on the roof, Carrington stood and overlooked the marketplace.

 

“So, your wife?”

 

He didn’t turn around. “The synth who replaced Sarah, yes. I had assumed they’d wipe her memory when she was returned. I don’t understand what she is doing here or why.” He fingers tapped against his thigh as he stood. “This isn’t good.”

 

“She’s beautiful,” Nora said, voice soft.

 

“My wife was beautiful, yes.”

 

“That woman is beautiful. Let’s not play semantics, Carrington. Whoever the fuck is sitting on that couch is beautiful and she believes she’s your wife.”

 

He drugs his hand over his face then released a soft sigh. “Yes, she does believe that. She always did. I don’t know if she really understands she isn’t Sarah, that she won’t ever be.”

 

“Are we taking her to HQ?”

 

He shook his head. “Runaways don’t go to HQ. Glory is only there because she became an agent. The rest? No. It’s too dangerous. We will take her to the closest safehouse, which is Ticonderoga.”

 

“This isn’t just a runaway; It’s your wife.” The word kept getting stuck in her throat, but she forced it past her lips. She needed to remember it, needed to let it sink in. It hurt, but forgetting it would hurt worse.

 

Carrington finally turned around. “She isn’t my wife, Nora. She’s just a confused synth.”

 

“A confused synth who looks exactly like your wife, a synth who loves you, one you've had sex with and lived with, and you can’t tell me she doesn’t tempt you. Hell, she almost tempts me.”

 

“What are we doing here? Is this jealousy?” He frowned, then shook his head. “I’m not with her, am I?”

 

“Because she was taken back to the Institute. Can you really tell me you wouldn’t have stayed with her and your son if you could have? That you wouldn’t have set up a family and a house with her? I know, after time away you regret it, but if you didn’t have that time? Because, if I had a second chance with Nate? I’d be a liar if I didn’t say I’d be tempted.”

 

He reached out, but she flinched away. She didn’t want to feel his hands on her, not right then, not when it all felt like it was slipping away.  

 

“Nora. . .”

 

The door opened and Sarah rushed out, sliding past Nora as if she didn’t matter, and slipping beneath Carrington’s arm, against his side, like she’d never been anywhere else. “Richard, I remember. I remember it, or some of it. They were talking about you. No one knew where you’d gone, but they heard you were in Diamond City. They were so excited because you finally turned up after all these years. We have to go, now.”

 

Nora’s gaze pulled away from the two, surveying the city because Sarah’s fear? That sparked all sorts of notice. That was true fear, and Nora didn’t ignore shit like that.

 

Sarah pulled on Carrington’s arm. “I came because I couldn’t let them find you. We have to leave now, Richard, or they’re going to find you.”

 

Movement below caught Nora’s attention. Courser’s moved through the city, at least four Nora could spot, their gazes all trained on the front door to her place, meaning they knew exactly where Carrington was.

 

It also meant they were surrounded

 

Nora took a deep breath, then unlocked the emergency chest on the roof. Nick liked to call her paranoid, but the truth was, she was just damned careful. She pulled out an armored coat and threw it at Sarah. The woman's dress wouldn't help her survive stray bullets. “Put this on.” Next, she tossed an assault rifle at Carrington. “Packs a punch so hold tight when you pull the trigger.”

 

“I’m not a fighter, Nora.”

 

“I’m not asking you to be one. That is just in case. You two will wait here for the sign, then move along the roofs. See that building at the end? Short jump to the ground. Head up the stairs, then over the seats. Follow the seats around, and there’s a gate at the back. Here’s the key. I’ll meet you outside the wall.”

 

Carrington grabbed her hand that time. “You’re still healing. You can’t do this.”

 

Nora’s gaze caught on the contrast of their hands, and the idea that it was over before it had even really begun. She squeezed his hand then pulled away. “I’ll be fine. You need to get Sarah out of here, it’s what we do, right? Wait until all eyes are on me, then go, and go fast. Don’t slow down. If I don’t meet you outside in an hour, head to the safehouse on your own, and I’ll meet you there.”

 

“How will you get them looking at you?”

 

Nora smiled, but she knew damned well it didn’t reach her eyes. Especially not when Sarah, now in the jacket, tucked her hand into Carrington’s.

 

“I’ll just be my charming self. Be careful, Carrington.”

 

He nodded. “You too, Charmer.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but Nora couldn’t hear it. She needed her head in the game.

 

Instead, she walked by them both and into the house.

 

At least she had some targets to take her frustration out on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Played a bit with the Diamond City layout. haha. Sorry!


	14. Chapter 14

 

Nora armed a trap by the door, a wire connected to a mine. The first courser who came through would be blown to hell. She moved around the building to the other door and slid out of it as she set another trap at that entry point. With any luck, they had eyes only for Carrington and Sarah.

 

It would allow Nora to move with a bit of ease, at least at first. Not that they wouldn't take notice of her when she started shooting at them, but any surprise would help keep her alive. 

 

Sure enough, around the corner one courser came, dark outfit a dead give away. How did they think they were covert when they literally wore a courser uniform? Deacon would have a fit if he were there.

 

Fuck, she wished Deacon was there. Traveling with people had never sat well with her, but when Carrington was at risk? She’d take Deacon, Glory, fucking Danse. Anyone.

 

But it was just her.

 

Nora moved past the marketplace, trying to catch sight of the four. An explosion told her where one was, at least whatever was left of him after trying to open her door.

 

Three came into view, passing unhappy looks between them. Assholes expected this to be easy. Snatch and grab, no problem.

 

Of course, four coursers seemed excessive for a pick up mission, but they must think Carrington was a lot more useful than Nora had realized.

 

And this all was her fault. He’d come to Diamond City because of her, which was what put him on the Institutes radar again. She'd put him in danger, and that didn't sit well with her. 

 

The three let surveyed the Market Place, which had gone into chaos from the explosion. As people rushed away, she heard a few muttering about her, blaming her for the problem, which she supposed was fair. 

 

Nora chucked a vertibird grenade down the alleyway, toward the Dugout Inn. The smoke caught all’s attention. Not that anyone was landing a vertibird in the middle of Diamond City, but the risk had the courser’s full attention.

 

Across the way, Carrington used the distraction for him and Sarah to cross the rooftops.

 

With them out of the way, Nora slid her hand into her jacket for Deliverer, the silenced pistol she’d gotten on her first Railroad op. Killing courser’s with a gun she’d picked up from a dead railroad agent felt right.

 

She stumbled beside the furthest courser back. “Oh my god, that’s a brotherhood thing! I’ve seen them drop those and then a vertibird comes in! We’re under attack.” She grasped his arm, pretending to panic.

 

He lifted a lip in disgust, then rolled his shoulder to knock off her grip. Nora took the chance to lean in, press the silenced pistol against his side, pointing it up toward his heart, and pull the trigger. His eyes widened as he sunk to his knees and Nora moved quickly away as he tumbled down.

 

The other two looked back and were on her in moments, so she broke into a run. She dove into the now destroyed door of Home Plate, past what was left of the courser who had attempted to enter.

 

A bullet struck the wall be her shoulder, a burn as it grazed her. Not important. Arm still worked fine, so she ignored the sting. Adrenaline was a hell of a thing.

 

She tossed Deliverer on the table, reaching for Kellogg’s pistol instead. Time to be quiet was over. Her breath came hard because, damn, Carrington had been right. He was always right. She wasn’t ready for this. Her lower stomach throbbed, complaining, screaming at her for doing far too much too soon.

 

Of course, it wasn’t like she could call a time out because of healing time. They weren’t going to back down because someone had yanked her uterus out.

 

Nora pulled a pulse grenade from her pocket, pulling the pin and throwing it out the door, toward the coursers, before getting back behind cover.

 

All the town's people had run for cover. Explosions and bullets would send Diamond City folks running. Goodneighbor? Well, that would have been more fun. She grinned at the idea of Hancock, shotgun in hand, right by her side.

 

The grenade went off, and Nora risked a glance back. One courser on the ground, not moving. The other gone.

 

Where the fuck was he hiding?

 

A click as someone worked the trap caught her attention. Tricky bastard thought he could flank her, take her from behind in surprise.

 

Nora moved quickly, slipping from the door and around the corner to the other door, hand fumbling in the pocket of her pants for med-x. If Carrington had taught her anything, it was the importance of having chems on her.

 

She snuck up behind the courser who had allowed all his attention to be on trap, a good choice she supposed, after what happened to the other courser from a trap of hers. Nora pressed the syringe into his side and injected the med-x before she pressed the muzzle of her rifle to his back. “Up, nice and slow.”

 

The courser turned, though he’d already started to waver. “You are making a mistake.”

 

“Why are you after Richard Liam?”

 

He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Nora Jacobs? Well, that does complicate things, doesn’t it?” He stumbled backward, against the door. It opened, since he’d already disarmed the trap. His feet tripped and he landed on his ass. “He is a talented doctor we have been attempting to recruit for many years.”

 

Nora kicked the door closed behind her. “Yeah, well, bad choice. You can’t have him.”

 

“We will have him. No one tells the Institute no. Not even you.”

 

“I’m telling you no. I said it when I killed Kellogg. I said it when a ripped a chip out of a courser’s neck, and I’m saying it again now. He’s mine. You understand that? You’re still breathing only because I want you to take that message back to whoever the fuck runs your shitty organization. Richard Liam is mine. He is off limits. You all took my son from me already, and I couldn’t do shit about it. Guess what? I can now. I’m coming for you all to get my son anyway, but anyone who crosses me now? Anyone who tries to take Richard away? Let me just promise, you don’t want to be the one to try it.”

 

Nora stood, but her anger wasn’t close to sated. She brought her foot back and landed one good kick into the courser’s ribs before grabbing her pack and rushing out.

 

#

 

Carrington lifted the gun as he shoved Sarah behind him when Nora rounded the corner.

 

Nora lifted her hands, surprised at the hard lines of Carrington’s face. Had she ever really seen him with a gun? Probably not. Still, he looked every bit a fighter when he stood like that.

 

Sarah’s hands clutched his sides, knuckles white. Delicate, sweet Sarah.

 

Nora tried to tear her gaze away from the way Sarah clung to him.

 

“Nora.” He dropped the rifle. “Remind me to never complain about your level of charm again.”

 

Sarah peeked out from behind Carrington. She wore the jacket which swallowed her up, her thin frame still somehow delicate despite the armor. Still perfect. “You saved us. Thank you so much, we appreciate it so much.”

 

Us? We?

 

Nora fidgeted, her fingers brushing through her hair again, finding dirt and blood? Right. Her arm. How she’d managed to get the blood in her hair, she wasn’t sure, but she tried to shove that away. “Yeah, sure. All part of the service. Come on, let’s go. Who knows when they’ll pick up the trail, and I’d rather be miles away before they do.”

 

Carrington moved away from Sarah, his fingers wrapping around Nora’s arm. “You’re bleeding.”

 

“Barely grazed me. It’s fine. We need to get going. If we’re doing this right-“

 

“-how is your injury-“

 

“-we need to put in a dead drop and find a place for the night-“

 

“-would you just let me take care of you?”

 

Nora shoved his grip away, then lowered her voice so it wouldn’t carry, not needing Sarah to hear a word of it. “I can’t do this right now, Carrington. I can’t do this here, not in front of her. I’m tired, and I hurt, and I’m confused, and I just want to get us out of the open and somewhere safe where I can breathe and try to sort the shit out in my head.”

 

Carrington pulled back, lips pressed together in a tight line. He finally nodded. “Yes. Of course. You’re right. Let’s get going.”

 

She turned, running her arm across her eyes. No tears, because she didn’t fucking cry, even though right then she really wanted to. She was a railroad heavy, and she had a job to do.

 

And right now? That job was keeping Carrington and his wife safe.

 

What a shitty job.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Nora had her vault suit only pulled up her legs and over her hips, the arms of it tied around her waist, her tank top covering her top half. She had her arm out, twisted as she tried to clean where the bullet had grazed her.

 

The smell of food cooking made her stomach churn.

 

It smells fucking amazing.

 

Of course it did. Sarah did everything, including cooking.

 

The chill of a breeze had Nora shivering before she went back to trying to care for her own wound.

 

Carrington was inside with Sarah. Nora had claimed to be setting up defenses, which she’d done, before she decided to hide outside instead of facing the two people inside the small house they’d stopped at for the night. What a fucking coward. They'd dropped off the note at the deaddrop, so she expected someone to make contact soon. Probably Deacon, because the asshole never could resist a good bit of drama, and Sarah? She was drama. 

 

The worst part of it all?

 

She wanted to like Sarah. If the woman was a bitch it might have been easier, but she wasn’t. Sarah was sweet, and innocent, and all too ready to help.

 

Couldn’t she be a bitch just to make this shit easier? Nora really would prefer to hate her. Maybe have an excuse to punch her?

 

“You trying to care for that yourself when I’m here is like me deciding I’ll go poke a deathclaw instead of calling for you.” Carrington’s voice, all annoyance, had her almost smiling.

 

Almost.

 

He sat beside her, taking the rag from her hand to finish the job. “I never got to say thank you. You saved me today.”

 

“Returning the favor, in case you forgot that time you sealed me back up.”

 

“No. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. I’ve performed surgery on many people over the years, but you? You were quite different. Doctor’s aren’t supposed to work on people they care about. That isn’t an option for most of us, but I can see why it is a rule. I’ve never worked on someone I-“

 

“-don’t say it. Whatever you plan on saying, just don’t.” Nora’s gaze drifted back to the house, to the light inside and soft singing. It reminded her of how Carrington would hum. “So she cooks?”

 

“Yes. She and the real Sarah were both good cooks.” Carrington set the rag down, lifting Nora’s arm to catch the light. “You do not require stitches.”

 

“Told you I was just grazed.”

 

“You are amazing, you know that? I’ve seen a courser destroy an entire safehouse in the past. You faced down four of them.”

 

She didn’t feel amazing right then. She felt like second prize, like a copy of the woman who stood inside that house, cooking and being fucking perfect. “Not a big deal. Glory teaches courser killing 101.”

 

Carrington sighed, catching her hand in his. “Sarah changes nothing between us.”

 

“You once said we were both adults, so we shouldn’t trip over uncomfortable conversations. Let’s put our cards down again. That’s bullshit and you know it. I saw you face when you saw her, and I saw the kiss. You might have set her away, but for a split second there? You wanted her.”

 

He shook his head. “I wanted Sarah, my Sarah, the woman who has been dead for a long time. The synth in there is not my Sarah, no matter what she believes. Yes, when she walked in, I saw my old wife. I saw the woman I loved, the one who gave me a son. She was soft, gentle, sweet.”

 

“All the things I’m not.”

 

“True. The thing is, even if it were the real Sarah, I don’t know that anything would change. I loved her when I was a different man. She fit into the life I had, the simple life where I was just a doctor. That isn’t the life I have anymore, and that isn’t the man I am anymore. She no longer fits.”

 

The words sounded so damned good, but Nora had trouble believing them.

 

He set a hand on her cheek and pulled her toward him, his lips pressing against hers. This wasn’t the careful man she knew, the one who always tried to remain in control. This was glimpse at what was beneath, at the want he’d shown her before they were interrupted. This was him trying to tell her he still wanted her.

 

Nora wrapped an arm around him and slid into his lap, trying to get closer, to wipe the day away from her memory. She wanted to go back to the house, to her on top of him, to before things had turned so damned complicated.

 

She broke the kiss and pressed her forehead against his. “We can’t tell her about us. You know that, right?”

 

He frowned. “Why not?”

 

“Because it’s just cruel. She’ll have her memory wiped soon, and it seems pretty damned mean to tell her you’ve moved on before then.”

 

“I’m not going to pretend to be in love with her, Nora. How would that not be cruel?”

 

“You don’t have to tell her that or pretend. Just, tell her it’s been a long time. I don’t know. I just can’t handle the idea of breaking her heart before she had her memories erased anyway.”

 

Carrington rubbed a hand along her back, sliding it beneath her shirt so her could slid it along each vertebrae along her spine. “You’ve got a bigger heart than you let on, you know that?”

 

“That or I’m just really stupid, giving her another chance to worm her way back into your life. If she’d be a bitch, I’d really appreciate it. I’m finding it hard to hate her and I really want to hate her.”

 

“You know, something has occurred to me.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her throat.

 

“And what is that?”

 

“That by the time we take her to the safehouse, it will have been a week since your surgery.”

 

“Well, I guess I have a reason to keep us all alive then, don’t I?”

 

“Richard?” Sarah’s soft voice traveled through the darkness to where Nora was, too far to be seen but not far enough away for privacy. “I was trying to set up a place for us all to sleep, but the bed is too heavy for me. Could you help me move it, please?”

 

Nora sighed, then stood.

 

Carrington caught her hips and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her navel, where it showed between her suit and the tank top. “Come in and eat soon, please. You need to take care of yourself.”

 

The idea of going inside made Nora sick, but she smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

 

#

 

Two hours later, the soft footsteps approaching could only be Sarah. Carrington didn’t move with such hesitancy.

 

“Nora?”

 

“Right here. Everything okay?” Nora had moved from the place she’d been at to a rocky edge near the back of the house that gave her a good view. A turret hummed beside her.

 

Sarah held a plate of food as she walked closer, having to navigate the hill to reach where Nora sat. “You haven’t come in to eat, so I brought your food.”

 

“Not hungry.”

 

Sarah sat, and even that was fucking graceful, her long legs folding beneath her, dress billowing around her legs. “You must be hungry. I know you risked a lot to help us, and I don’t have a great many skills, but I can cook a decent meal. Please let me repay you a little at least?”

 

Snapping at her felt like kicking a puppy, so Nora took the plate. “Thanks.”

 

And fuck. . . it was good. She was just little Miss perfect, wasn’t she?

 

Or little Mrs. Perfect, right?

 

“How long have you known Richard?”

 

“Six months or so.” Nora kept her gaze off Sarah.

 

“I’ve heard your name, you know? In the Institute. I don’t remember how, or why, but they know about you. They know you’re in the Railroad.”

 

“Good. Maybe they’ll think twice before pulling bullshit like they did in Diamond City. Notoriety isn’t always a bad thing.”

 

“Isn’t the Railroad usually all about secrecy?”

 

Nora shrugged, continuing to eat while she spoke. “Most of them are, yeah. Me? Not so much. I like when my enemies see me coming.”

 

Sarah frowned. “You sound like someone who is used to having enemies.”

 

“Yeah, I am. Enemies are something you get out here when you start not accepting shit the way it’s handed to you.”

 

“That seems. . . violent. I’m surprised Richard is a part of this. He’s always been selfless, but this seems outside of his comfort zone. He is a healer, not a killer. It was one of the reasons I fell for him, because he is so kind.”

 

“Well, you’d have to talk to him about that. I’m not one to spill secrets.”

 

Sarah nodded, then stood, the same graceful motion from when she’d sat. “I do wonder if you are safe for him. I understand you are a fighter, and he is not. Perhaps you think you can keep him safe, but I wonder if you don’t put him in danger more than you protect him? I have set a place for you to sleep, as well, when you are ready.” Sarah didn't wait for a response, turning to return to the house, to Carrington. 

 

Sarah’s words haunted Nora, the questions she’d been asking herself already. Was she good for Carrington at all? They made no damned sense.

 

In the end, Nora didn’t go inside. There was no sleep to be had inside. Had Sarah set a bed for her and Carrington? Were they sleeping side by side, like old days? Would sweet Sarah wake up in tears, so Carrington could wrap his arms around her and whisper that she'd be fine?

 

Nora crawled onto the roof of the house a few hours before sunrise to try and manage a little sleep, alone, but Sarah’s words never stopped spinning in her head.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Nora woke to someone beside her. She smiled, rolling over and tossing her arm around him. Carrington must have figured out where she was and come to sleep beside her.

 

Truth was, she’d grown used to sleeping beside him, even over such a short period of time. Falling asleep alone had been difficult. She'd missed Carrington's soft snores, the way he'd shift in the bed during the night, the warm and weight of his arm.

 

“Well, this is new.” Deacon’s amused voice had Nora cracking open her eyelids and frowning.

 

One of his eyebrows was hiked up over the edge of his sunglasses, grin across his lips.

 

Nora pulled away and sat up. “Serves you right for sneaking up on me when I’m sleeping.”

 

“If your plan to deal with nighttime molesters is to grope at them back, well, I’m not really sure where I was going that. Feel free to continue, though. You've managed to make Carrington down right pleasant. Wonder what your lovin' would do for me.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

He sat up. “Picked up your dead drop. Came to rescue you. I have to say, I like the idea of rushing in and saving the day by helping you. Normally that goes the other way.”

 

“You want to save the day? Go draw a mustache on Sarah.”

 

“That’s child’s play. I’ll shave her eyebrows first, then use a marker make her look surprised. Carrington will never want to have sex with her if she looks surprised all the time.”

 

Nora laughed, elbowing him. “Okay. So, since you seem to be the agent in charge, what’s the plan?”

 

“We meet up with Old Man Stockton in Bunker Hill. He’ll transfer the package to High Rise who will take her to Ticonderoga. We do this by the books, Charmer. I don’t trust that she isn’t a plant.”

 

“If she’s a plant, isn’t it better to take her straight to the safehouse? Then we aren’t jeopardizing the whole route.”

 

“You’re a good heavy, but terrible at planning. If we do that, we out that we’re a big deal. Right now? We look like just another do-gooder tourist. Well, you’re sort of outted as an agent, after killing three coursers and all. But the rest of us? We get to act like we’re clueless. HQ and the agents are more important.”

 

Nora nodded, folding her legs beneath her. “Okay, Deacon.”

 

He bumped his shoulder into hers. “Don’t worry, I've got your back. I won’t let her put her paws on your man. I’ll use all the snark at my disposal, which is a lot.”

 

#

 

The walk to Bunker Hill was quiet and tense. Sarah walked beside Carrington, the wind catching her dress. She’d reach out for his hand when stepping over obstacles, gasping when anything remotely dangerous jumped out.

 

Hell, even Carrington rolled his eyes when she screamed at a radroach.

 

It wasn’t even a big one.

 

“I haven’t been to Bunker Hill,” Sarah said to no one in particular.

 

“It’s not bad. Great place for trade. They pay off the raiders, so try not to scream when you see them.” Deacon moved back beside Sarah, sliding between Carrington and her. Deacon threw an arm around Sarah. “You hungry, sweetheart? They’ve got great food. Well, food that won’t kill you at least. . .” He continued to talk, but Nora blocked him out.

 

Carrington slowed down until he walked beside Nora. “You never came in last night.”

 

“I know. I told you before, I don’t like sleeping beside people.”

 

“You don’t mind sleeping beside me.”

 

“You weren’t the only person there, in case you’ve forgotten.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep without you next to me.”

 

“Not as good with her?”

 

His sigh had her frowning.

 

Nora took a deep breath. “That’s not fair. I’m sorry. Who would have figured me for jealous, huh?”

 

“I’m not surprised. You’re more possessive than you let on. You like to pretend you don’t care about anything, but then you wear your wedding rings on a string around your neck.”

 

Nora reached up to pat the rings. Yeah, she wore them, but he’d never mentioned them before. “Does it bother you that I wear them?”

 

“No. I know I’m not competing with your husband.” The chiding in his tone was clear.

 

“Yeah, well, when Nate comes walking in and kisses me, you can decide how silly it is to feel competitive.”

 

Deacon and Sarah walked around a corner, leaving Carrington and Nora alone.

 

“My Sarah didn’t show up. A woman who looks like her did. Why can’t you understand that is different?” He pulled her arm to a stop, forcing her to turn and face him. He cupped her cheeks so she’d look up at him. “You’re the one who wanted me not to tell her. You can’t be angry at me now because of that.”

 

“I know. It’s not fair, I know, but I can’t help it. She’s just so fucking perfect.” Nora’s hand came up to comb her hair back.

 

Carrington captured her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. “You’re not just jealous, are you? You’re insecure.” He tilted his head. “How can you possibly be insecure about her?”

 

“Really? Have you taken a look at her? She’s fucking perfect. She’s tall, she has no scars, perfect long hair. She cooks, she’s sweet.” Nora’s gaze darted away. “Bet she fucks like a lady, too.”

 

He huffed out a soft laugh. “For such a smart woman, you can be quite foolish. She has no scars because she’s never fought. I like your scars, Nora. I like your height, and I like your hair. You can’t cook, but I’m okay with that, because you killing those coursers? That’s far better. And the other absurd thing you mentioned? I doubt we need to talk about sex.” He frowned at the look on her face, then sighed. “Or perhaps we do. Yes, she, both my Sarah and this Sarah, were meek and quiet in bed. They required gentleness. I like that you do not. Believe it or not, I do not require nor want a meek and quiet woman. I like your fire, Nora. I like you, though I wish you’d believe that. I’m not sure what it is about her that sets this off in you.”

 

She pressed her lips together, wanting to argue the point. Sarah was the epitome of the perfect woman, and Nora knew damned well she wasn’t.

 

Instead of listening, Carrington pulled her closer. He kissed her, his tongue sliding past her lips, tasting her. He held her still while he kissed her, until she couldn’t think straight anymore. One of his hands reached back, setting on her lower back and pulling her against him.

 

He broke the kiss to whisper into her ear. “I recall you being an expert on male physiology, and I’m sure you can feel my reaction to you. The way you handle yourself? The way you can walk into any situation and think your way through it? I’m a man of medicine, and I shouldn’t admit just how much of a turn on you and your gun are to me.”

 

She released a soft moan at how he rocked his hips against her, his erection pushing against her hip. “You’re teasing and that isn’t fair.”

 

“You talking about fair is funny. You fight as dirty as I’ve ever seen. Can I see you tonight?”

 

“We’re on a mission. I don’t think you can get rid of me.”

 

He used a finger beneath her chin to make her look up at him. “Please? I need a little time with you tonight. Deacon can keep an eye on Sarah.” His eyes looked so damned honest, nothing but need in them.

 

Nora nodded. “Okay. Meet me at the top of the obelisk?”

 

He kissed her once more before stepping backward. “It’s a date.”

 

“A date? Will you be putting out?”

 

“I thought that happened after the third date?”

 

“I feel like we’ve had three dates.”

 

“Surgery isn’t a date.”

 

“You had my clothes off. If my clothes come off, it should count.”

 

“Well then, Charmer, I suspect tonight will be counted as a date.” He smiled once more before turning his back and walking the way Deacon and Sarah had gone.

 

“You tease,” Nora muttered before rushing to catch up.

 

But she couldn’t hide her smile, because she had a date.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Deacon hadn’t minded taking the babysitting job. Or, if he had, he simply planned to make her pay for it later. Sarah had been less happy about the idea of being left with Deacon, but Carrington had told her he had important errands to run that would not be safe for her.

 

Nora had left first, heading up the monument steps. She set out two sleeping bags and some food. She hadn’t cooked, since she knew damned well she couldn’t beat Sarah. She bought some Fancy Lad Cakes and Nuka Colas, prepared to hear Carrington bitch at her over the lack of nutrition in them.

 

When he appeared in the doorway, Nora forgot her plan to play it cool. She wrapped her arms around him, finally able to do what she’d wanted to, what she couldn’t in front of Sarah. She pulled his head down for a kiss, not easing into it.

 

He responded by grabbing her ass in a tight squeeze, pulling her against him. He broke the kiss, gaze shifting to the sleeping bags. “You have another two days, Nora.”

 

She smiled, then slid down to her knees in front of him, fingers working the button of his pants.

 

His swallow came out loud in the small space. “What are you doing?”

 

“You’re a doctor; I’d think you could figure it out.”

 

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

 

She slid his pants down his thighs, smiling as she skimmed her nails down them as well. Next, she slid off his underwear, not giving him time to complain again. “You got to play with me, in case you’ve forgotten. I want my turn.”

 

He cupped her cheek. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t need you to service me.”

 

“You know what I need?”

 

“What?” The tone of his voice said he’d give her anything, that it didn’t matter what she said, he’d do anything he could to give it to her.

 

“I need you to shut up.” She pressed a kiss to the head of his cock, which was still only half-hard.

 

He groaned, shuddering when she wrapped a hand around his cock. Her tongue slid against the slit.

 

He set a hand on the back of her head, then froze and removed it.

 

“You won’t break me.” She grasped his hand and slid his fingers into her hair, closing his hand before pulling hers away. “It’s okay.”

 

“I always had to be gentle before.”

 

“Well, if there’s one good thing about me, I’m tough. Don’t worry about being gentle.” She drug her tongue along his cock.

 

“You don’t mind?” His hand guided her head in a gentle pull, like testing what they thought of it.

 

“No. I trust you.”

 

He moved her hand out of the way, gripping his own cock, now hard, a drop of precome at the tip. He held her still with the grip in her hair and rubbed his cock against her lips, smearing the precome. Her tongue licked it from her lips.

 

He groaned again, deeper, before pressing his cock past her lips. He pulled back, once again rubbing against her lips, this time leaving a trail of saliva. “I like this. I don’t care for admitting it, but I like this much more than I should.” He pulled her forward again, pressing deeper into her mouth.

 

Nora tightened her lips around him, her hands going to his thighs for balance. He took her mouth slowly, using his grip on her hair to control the pace, the depth. She tried to take him deeper, but he didn’t relent, didn’t let her have an inch more than he gave her.

 

A tremor started in his thighs, the only crack in his control. He pulled her away from her. “I’m going to come soon, Nora.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, I can finish myself off.”

 

She frowned, until she recalled what he’d said about Sarah. Both of them. “I don’t mind. You don’t have to finish yourself off.”

 

“Really?”

 

She nodded, the action causing a sting in her scalp from his grip. “Really. I want to.”

 

He leaned down for a moment, taking her mouth in a quick kiss before standing up and pulling her back onto his cock. He took her faster than before, and she tried to use her tongue against him, though he’d started to press deep enough, she couldn’t do much. It only took another few thrusts before he came, cock jerking against her tongue. She swallowed quickly, the action strange with him still inside her mouth.

 

She used her tongue against him as he softened, until he pulled out. He rubbed himself against her lips once more, a strange look on his face.

 

He pulled her to her feet with a grip on her hair, not hard enough it hurt, only hard enough to tell her what he wanted. He took her mouth in a harsh kiss, then pressed his forehead against hers. “Thank you.”

 

She smiled at the awe in his voice, a tone that said he never expected to have something like this. “Was it okay?”

 

“You and your insecurities. You should have more confidence, Nora.” He caught sight of the junk food, shaking his head. “Though you should have far less confidence in that junk that passes for food somehow. That will kill you faster than a courser.”

 

“So you aren’t planning on eating?”

 

“That? No.”

 

She pulled him down onto the sleeping bag. “Good. Then you have no excuse not to get into this lovely bed I made for us.”

 

He stripped down the rest of the way, Nora doing the same, then crawled into the makeshift bed beside her.

 

He cupped one of her breasts, but Nora stopped him. He’s lips tipped down. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I’m just really tired. Fighting coursers, walking for miles, and sleeping on a rooftop don’t make for great sleep.”

 

“We shouldn’t have done anything, then. We could have waited.”

 

Nora rolled until her back pressed against his chest, his arm sliding around her. “I needed that. I need this. I just need to touch you, to have the silence. I used to hate silence, you know? The silence in the HQ drove me mad. Now? Now it reminds me of you and I don’t mind it as much. When it’s really quiet, I hear you humming.”

 

He tightened his arm around her. “What do you want? After all of this is over? What sort of life do you want?”

 

“A quiet one. I want a little house somewhere safe, somewhere I can raise Shaun.”

 

“You’re not one of those who thrives on violence? Some people, like Glory, I don’t think would ever be happy with a quiet life.”

 

“And what about you? What do you want?”

 

He sighed, ruffling her hair with his breath. “I want a quiet life as well. Maybe be a doctor for a small town, again. If we ever are done with the Institute, if we ever get to that point, I want to be able to live in peace.”

 

Nora placed her hand over his, snuggling back, into his warm, into the comfort of him. “That sounds nice.”

 

“Yeah, it would be.”

 

As they laid there, he began to hum. Nora smiled, drifting off the the sound.

 

#

 

The sun woke Nora, and she realized she’d slept well. Strange how quickly she’d ended up needing Carrington to fall asleep. He snored softly behind her, the sound bringing a smile to Nora’s face.

 

She’d missed that snoring, and the way his fingers would hold tight to her, even in his sleep.

 

A shadow moved over her. Someone was in the room. Nora reached out for her gun tucked beneath the sleeping bag. She never slept with it far away, never trusted life enough to be defenseless.

 

She grasped it and shifted to her back, lifting the gun to point at whoever cast the shadow.

 

Carrington stirred awake beside her, sitting up.

 

They both met the shocked face of Sarah, moments before she covered her mouth and fled, heels clicking against the stone steps.

 

“Well, fuck,” Nora said.

 

Carrington groaned, grasping his own clothing and pulling it on. “Pretty much. Let’s go get her.”

 

“Do we have to?”

 

“You know we do.”

 

Nora took her own clothing and began to pull them on. “Yeah, let’s go reassure your wife.”

 

A sharp pain had her yelping. “Did you just pinch my ass?”

 

“Yes, and I will continue to do it every time you let that insecurity of yours come trampling out of your mouth. You will either accept that I want you, or you will stop being able to sit. Knowing how stubborn you can be, I suspect the latter will happen first.”

 

Nora glared before rising to her feet. “Just keep pushing your luck, Doc.”

 

He smiled, face softening, before giving her a quick kiss, like an apology. “Come on. If she gets lost or hurt you will never forgive yourself.”

 

Nora sighed, because he was right. If Sarah was hurt, Nora would feel terrible. “Alright. I tracked Kellogg across the Commonwealth by following a dog. Pretty sure I can find a woman in heels. Let’s go.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

Nora caught sight of Sarah, sitting on the edge of a bridge, legs dangling over the water.

 

Carrington walked forward, but Nora stopped him.

 

“I’ll go talk to her.”

 

“Why do you think that will help? She doesn’t even know you.”

 

“She just saw me naked. That means she knows me pretty damned well.”

 

Carrington frowned and shook his head. “I would advise you not make those jokes to her. She doesn’t appreciate that humor.”

 

“Sure, sure.” Nora walked ahead of Carrington, dropping herself down beside Sarah, mirroring her stance.

 

Sarah’s bare feet hung over the water, her heels on the bridge beside her.

 

“You shouldn’t run off like that. Rule one out here? Always keep the muscle with you.”

 

“And that’s what you are? The muscle?”

 

Nora set her hands behind her, leaning back. “Seems like that. I wanted to do intel, but as it turns out, people don’t like me.”

 

Sarah’s gaze darted toward Nora in a side glance. “Richard likes you, it seems.”

 

“Yeah, about that.” Nora took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry you found out like that. I told him not to tell you because it didn’t seem fair.”

 

“Yes, well, nothing has seemed very fair to me. I was created just to replace someone I never met. Then I fell in love with the man I was supposed to betray. I did everything I could to save him, but I’m not muscle, I’m not like you. I failed, and his son died, and I was taken back.” She leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees. “ They never wiped my memory because they wanted to still find him, to recruit him. And then he finally shows back up, and I try to help him again, only to find out he’s moved on. I spent years thinking of him, but he forgot about me.”

 

Well that. . . hurt.

 

It was even harder to hate her when she put it like that. She’d been a victim in this all as well. She hadn’t asked to be created, to thrown into a mission, to have her lift controlled like the Institute. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Nora said, the words cheap but all she could think of to say.

 

“It isn’t like I was all that surprised, I guess. I wouldn’t expect him to wait this long; it wasn’t like he loved me. I know he never loved me. I just hoped maybe he could grow to love me someday.” She sighed softly and shifted her dress so it laid flat on her thighs. “But I can’t really be angry. It’s not like I can compete with you."

 

“You’re shitting me, right?”

 

She shook her head. “You’re strong. You can take care of yourself. You can protect him in a way I’ve never been able to. All I can do is cook some food and be a hindrance. I’m not even as good as the real Sarah. I’m not a real person, can’t even give him children to replace the one I couldn’t save.”

 

Nora said nothing at first, just sitting beside Sarah, realizing they were really fucking similar. Neither thinking they were good enough, both wanting what the other had.

 

“You know,” Sarah said. “When I first saw you, I knew. As soon as I walked into that house, I knew he’d moved on. I tried to pretend it wasn’t true, that maybe it was just a fling, but it wasn’t. When we waited for you outside the Diamond City walls, I saw it in his face. He’s never been that nervous. And when he saw you walk up?” She swallowed, like the truth was trying to crawl out of her and she wanted to force it back down. “It was clear he loved you.”

 

“I’m really sorry, Sarah. I never wanted to hurt you, and I know he didn’t either. I don’t know what we have, I just know it’s important. I care about him, you know? A lot.”

 

“I know, and I’m glad. He’s had a lot stolen from him, and he deserves good things in his life. He deserves you in his life.” Sarah shrugged, bringing her legs up and folding them beneath her dress. “Go on. I’m fine here.”

 

“I’m not leaving you alone.”

 

“I am not alone.” Sarah pointed to the other end of the bridge, where a certain spy in sunglasses was seated on a car with his rifle across his lap, watching over her.

 

Nora grabbed Sarah’s hand and squeezed. “Thank you, for understanding.”

 

“Of course. I need a little time alone, however. Go on, and make sure Richard knows I am not upset with him, either. He worries for others too much.”

 

Nora nodded and stood, a thumbs up at Deacon to let him know everything was okay, before heading back to where Carrington still stood.

 

“Is she okay?”

 

Nora nodded. “I think so. She’s sad. I think she expected a certain life and realized she isn’t going to get that life. You know the funny thing?”

 

“What?”

 

“I spent so much time being jealous of her, thinking about all the ways she was better than I was. Turned out she thought the same thing about me.”

 

Carrington laughed softly and pulled Nora against him. “I think I’ve been trying to tell you the same thing for a few days, now.”

 

“What can I say? I’m stubborn.”

 

He leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. “Trust me, I know. Yet another thing I like about you that I shouldn’t, Charmer.”

 

#

 

 

Sarah knew Deacon was approaching without looking up. He’d sat on the car, following her faster than Nora or Richard had, like he’d expected her to bolt.

 

Then again, he hadn’t needed to put clothing on to give chase, either.

 

Deacon set the rifle down between them as he sat beside her.

 

The gun caught her attention. She had Sarah’s memories, remembered guns, but the real Sarah hadn’t ever used one, and she certainly hadn’t changed that.

 

“The gun makes you nervous?” He shifted his gaze over, hidden behind the sunglasses.

 

“I’m not used to guns.”

 

“I could teach you to shoot.”

 

“What’s the point? You think I don’t know what happens to synths? Our memories get wiped. I’ll forget everything, so what does it matter if you teach me?”

 

He leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with his. “You know, I change lives and faces more often than most people change underwear, though to be fair, people don’t change those nearly often enough out here.” His eyebrow waggled until she laughed. “What I’ve found is that the only thing that really matters is what you do every moment. The rest? Details.”

 

“I guess forgetting everything doesn’t matter. It isn’t like I have anything to hold on to. I have someone else’s memories, a bunch of failures, and a man who doesn’t love me.”

 

Deacon laughed, the way he did that said he saw way more than he should have. She’d found that about him in the short time, that he rarely said anything true, but he never missed anything. “No, he doesn’t love you.”

 

“Thanks. Would you like to dig into any other wounds of mine while you’re at it?”

 

“Let me finish. You don’t love him either.”

 

“You don’t know anything about me.”

 

“I know plenty. You think this is my first rodeo? Synths with sudden freedom sometimes attach to whoever is nearby. Add in the complications of replacing his wife? Not surprising you’d get mixed up.”

 

“And how can you be so sure?”

 

“Because if you really loved him, you’d have never have let him go so easily. When you really love someone, you hang on no matter what.”

 

She frowned, staring down at the water as she listened to him. Was he right? Did she love Richard at all? Was it just the memories from the real Sarah that made her think she did?

 

Sarah slid her heels back on and started to walk, unable to sit still any longer. The fears in her head ran around until she needed to move.

 

Deacon caught up to her after a few moments, rifle slung over his back. “You know I’m right.”

 

“If you are, then it is all almost worse. I’ve held onto the fact that at least I had that. I loved Richard, I had a plan, a future. What do I have now? Just an appointment to have my memories ripped away? To give me new ones?”

 

“It’s for your own safety.”

 

She turned on him, meeting his gaze through his glasses. “I don’t care about my safety. What memories will you give me? Will you fake my first kiss? My first heartbreak? Do you know what my first kiss was? With Richard, when he thought I was his Sarah. I never really had my own kiss, one that was mine, and now you’ll steal what little I have and I’ll have nothing at all.”

 

He caught her arm in a grip before she could turn away again. “Memories don’t make a person, Sarah, and they don’t change a person.”

 

The idea of losing what little she had made it hard to breathe. She’d barely lived and now it would all be taken away. She’d have nothing left. She’d fall asleep and drift away and whoever came back wouldn’t even be her anymore.

 

Sarah slid her hands behind Deacon’s neck and pulled him forward. She kissed him, and for the first time, it was her. It wasn’t the old Sarah, it wasn’t trying to mimic someone else, it was just her and the man in front of her.

 

This man who she didn’t know, but who she wanted. Not because she was supposed to, but because he was there, and he was handsome, and she had no reason she had to want him. His hands held out to the side, like he wasn’t sure how to react, until he set them on her hips.

 

Sarah slid her arms over his shoulders, trying to deepen the kiss, to taste more, to feel something that was hers. The first thing ever that was hers. Not the old Sarah’s, but only for her.

 

After a moment, she broke the kiss and shook her head. “The first thing that’s mine and I’ll lose that too, won’t I? At least I had it, I guess.” She pulled away to head back to Bunker Hill.

 

Deacon caught her hand so she couldn’t move away. “This is wrong.”

 

“Everything in my life has been wrong. Why change that now?”

 

“You’re a synth, Sarah. You’re confused, and I can’t take advantage of you. It’s not right.”

 

“This is all I have for me, all that’s mine. Don’t you dare try to take this away from me.” She pulled hard on her hand so he’d release her.

 

She didn’t wait to hear his response. She didn’t need explanations or more pity or anyone explaining why she was wrong, why she didn’t understand the world. She’d had people explain what she needed, who she needed to be, for her entire life.

 

She nailed him with one more hard glare over her shoulder. “At least not until you take everything else away from me.” Sarah pulled her shoulders back and held her head up high as she walked back toward Bunker Hill.

 

She didn’t need anyone’s pity.

 


	19. Chapter 19

 

Ticonderoga had always been Nora’s favorite of the safehouses. It wasn’t the location, or the supplies, but rather High Rise. He managed to make the place feel like a home.

 

HQ never felt like home. It was busy and frantic and often annoying. It was full of work and pain and missions. It felt like work, despite the fact so many agents lived there.

 

When High Rise came out and pulled Nora into a hug, she smiled and returned the affection. He’d been one of the first non-HQ agents she’d met, after escorting H2-22 from Bunker Hill. Maybe that’s what it was, that he didn’t see the synths as just things or packages, he saw them as people, and he created a little safety and comfort for them through his safehouse.

 

“Heard we were going to see you, Charmer. Have you been avoiding us?”

 

Nora laughed as she pulled back. “You know how it goes, never enough hours in the day. We’ve got someone here for you to meet. This is Sarah.”

 

Sarah stepped forward, and the way High Rise’s gaze widened, he was as smitten as it seemed everyone was with her. If it had been a day or two before, Nora would have said something petty, but after the bridge? She just couldn’t bring herself to do so.

 

“Hello, my name is Sarah.”

 

“You have these three as an escort? Well, you must be important.”

 

“Not really, no. I simply look like someone who was important.” She nodded, like she wanted to remove the sting of the statement, before walking past him and in to the building.

 

Carrington stuck his hand out. “It is good to see you, High Rise.”

 

“You do, Doc. You don’t normally leave HQ.”

 

He nodded at Nora. “I had a patient who require extra care after surgery, and then we ran into trouble in Diamond City.”

 

“I heard about that. That was you all? Heard there were six coursers.”

 

“There were four,” Nora offered. “But if you want to say I killed six, I won’t complain.”

 

High Rise gazed over his shoulder at Sarah. “So who is she? I wasn’t kidding, you three means something.”

 

No one answered, so Carrington sighed and started the story.

 

Nora didn’t need to hear it again, so she passed High Rise and led Sarah to the elevator. “This is the best safehouse, Sarah. High Rise is a good man, and he protects the synths who are here.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The door slid shut behind Deacon, Nora, and Sarah, the elevator shifting and groaning as it ascended.

 

“You know, I never trust these fuckers. Don’t trust anything that has been going for over two hundred years.”

 

“That include you, Charmer?” Deacon grinned.

 

“Ouch, Deacon. That was harsh.”

 

Deacon tossed his arm over Nora’s shoulder. “I kid, Grandma, I kid.”

 

Nora brought her elbow back, into Deacon’s ribs. “I don’t know why I work with you.”

 

“Because I’m handsome?”

 

“That isn’t it.”

 

“Well, you’re not a great judge of handsomeness. Wanting the doc is like wanting to eat cold cram. Once you do that, I don’t trust your judgement anymore.”

 

Nora looked at Sarah and let out a long-suffering sigh. “He doesn’t understand tense subjects, and he will trample over every single verbal do not cross line anyone sets up.”

 

“So I’ve seen,” Sarah said back, though she did not follow the line of conversation further. “What is the plan from here? Will you leave immediately?”

 

Deacon answered. “Not right away, no. We like to get people settled, first. At least, I’ll stay, a day or two minimum, help you get used to High Rise. Then he’ll explain your options and get you set up for the next step.”

 

Sarah seemed to purposely not look at Deacon as the elevator door slid open. “Thank you, but I do not require your presence to get used to this place. Feel free to get back to whatever it was you were doing before.” She stepped off the elevator, head high.

 

Nora turned on Deacon, one hand holding the elevator doors open. “What did you do?”

 

Deacon lifted his hands. “Nothing. I promise.”

 

“You did something. Out with it, D.”

 

He groaned, hands going to his hips. “She kissed me, okay? I explained we couldn’t do that because it wasn’t right. See, nothing.”

 

Nora shook her head. “Oh, you’re in trouble. You may be able to read people but you know shit about women. Turning down a woman because you decide she isn’t capable of making her own decisions is a bad choice. Oh, fuck, you’re gonna pay for that one.” She chuckled before leaving the elevator.

 

Deacon was screwed.

 

#

 

Deacon watched Sarah sitting in the open window, gaze out on the city. She didn’t look ready to throw herself out of it, so he wondered if he should just leave her be.

 

“Staring at people from dark corners is creepy,” she said.

 

He gave in and took a seat beside her, legs dangling out, but the ledge for the window provided plenty of room. “I wanted to say sorry. Nora sort of explained why you might be pissed, and I didn’t mean to do that.”

 

She shrugged, thin shoulders too delicate for the Wasteland. Yeah, she didn’t strike him as someone who would live long out there on her own. “I understand. How long will I have before I have to have my memory wiped?”

 

“High Rise will go over that with you.”

 

“I’m not asking him; I am asking you.” Yeah, tiny shoulders or not, the woman had a backbone.

 

“You don’t have to have your memory wiped. We don’t force anyone to do it. We’re not the Institute, we don’t make synths do anything they don’t want to do. Yeah, we recommend it, because it is the safest thing to do. If you have your memories, the chances of someone finding you go up. With a new life? New memories? The odds are far lower. Not to mention, few synths want to keep the memories. They're rarely good memories, and they don’t want to live in fear every day.”

 

“I don’t live in fear. I have more memories than most synths. I have the real Sarah’s, and getting rid of those feels wrong, like it is killing the least of her.”

 

“Why’d they let you keep them? I’ve been wondering that.”

 

She leaned her shoulder against the edge of the window, then rested her head against it like she’d grown tired. “Because I knew more about Richard than anyone else. They didn’t want to risk losing any of that, not when they didn’t have him yet. I suspect they also hoped they could give me back to him when they found him, as some sort of welcome home present.”

 

“You are not a present to be given.”

 

“Aren’t I? It’s what I’ve always been. Something to be moved around and used. Something pretty to look at so people don’t pay too close attention. I was given to Richard to replace his wife, then kept in case he wanted me. They planned for everything except Nora, and now no one wants me.”

 

Deacon wanted to reach over and pull her into a hug. It’s what he’d have done for any other synth, but not her. He’d never been so conflicted before, never wanted someone he knew he shouldn’t so much.

 

“I will help you, Sarah, no matter what you choose.”

 

“I heard of a place called Acadia. Don’t look at me like that, synths talk, even in the Institute. They said it was a place where synths live in peace, where they don’t have their memories wiped.”

 

Deacon pressed his lips together. He never liked to part with information, not unless he had to. Intel was his bread and butter, it kept him alive, so every part he gave away was like handing a bullet over. You didn’t know how they’d use it.

 

But. . . he felt like he owed her this.

 

“Yeah. It’s up in Far Harbor. Railroad doesn’t have much to do with them, because they don’t like our methods. The synth who runs it thinks we’re basically killing synths by wiping their memories. But, if you go there, you don’t have our help or our protection. You’re on your own.”

 

Sarah yawned, then slid into the building. “Maybe that’s exactly what I need. Goodnight, Deacon.”

 

Deacon followed her with his gaze as she left, a beacon he couldn't look away from. “Goodnight, Sarah.”

 

#

 

Nora shut the door to the room she and Carrington took for the night. Deacon had gotten Sarah settled for the evening, and he was prowling around who knew where. He rarely slept where everyone else did, and she’d given up trying to keep tabs on him.

 

It left Nora and Carrington alone, finally. Alone and mostly safe, and her week of healing was over. 

 

“I realize we made some comments about it your healing time being over when we got here, and while that is true medically, we don’t have to actually have sex, Nora.” Carrington stood across the room, the bed between them, his voice that same solid one she’d grown so used to, nothing but steady, logical thinking.

 

And she really wanted to be anything but logical. She didn’t want to think about what they had to do or what they’d have to face or anything else. She wanted to lock that all out of their room, to go back to pretending it was just them. And for that night? That was her fucking plan. 

 

Nora knelt on the mattress, then reached across the space to wrap her fingers in Carrington’s shirt, clutching the fabric. She pulled, and he followed until he rested his knees on the bed as well. 

 

“You’ve turned me down for weeks. We’ve done slow, we’ve done our bullshit therapy sessions, I killed a couple coursers for you. I think that earns me something.”

 

“And what were you wanting?”

 

She grinned, moving back so she could sit, eyebrow cocked up. “Well, I think getting those pants off is a really good start.”

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

Nora worked her bottom lip with her teeth as Carrington stripped. He’d done better than just removing his pants, going ahead of getting entirely naked.

 

And, fuck. The sight had all her attention. She’d seen other man, lots of them over her time in the Commonwealth. Privacy wasn’t something you got much of, so she’d seen some good looking men in very little. Between the minutemen, the railroad, and the brotherhood, Nora had more than her fair share of naked men in her life. 

 

She’d seen men with more muscle, more definition, but she’d never seen one who looked better to her. He carried less muscle, skin far paler since he rarely got out of HQ. He lacked the scars, as well, skin mostly flawless. He came forward, settling on the bed beside her. “This good enough?”

 

Nora laughed as she worked her own clothes off, too impatient to try for seductive. “Always the overachiever, aren’t you?”

 

“As you pointed out, I did make you wait. I also seem to recall promising quite a bit, so I feel the need to make sure I live up to that.” Despite the way his voice never shook, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

 

Carrington was nervous. It shouldn’t have charmed her, but damn it, it did. She could almost see the bullshit swirling around in his head. She’d waited, hadn’t moved on after her husband, he wanted it to be right. He wanted to make sure he lived up to whatever she had in her head, didn’t want to disappoint her.

 

She pressed a hand to his cheek. “Don’t worry so much. It’ll be great.”

 

He sighed, breath blowing across her lips before she grabbed his shoulder to pull him until he leaned over her, moving his hand to the bed to brace himself.

 

She’d set her pipboy on the dresser, the light giving them something in the darkness of the small room they’d taken. She hadn’t wanted to take one strung up for power because it might be needed, and she’d rather have a dark private room than a lit one with company.

 

Well, company other than the man above her.

 

Carrington gave her one quick kiss before moving his lips to her jaw, then down to her throat.

 

Nora tried to reach between them for him, but he shifted his hips backward, lips tilting to a mischievous smile.

 

“Patience,” he whispered between kisses.

 

Nora lifted her knee, causing her thigh to press against his cock. Not hard enough to hurt, only hard enough for him to groan against her skin. “I’m tired of patience. I’m not known for patience.”

 

He scooted down more, shifting around her thigh until she lost contact. “Trust me, I’m aware of your shortcomings in that department.” His lips caught one nipple as he moved down her body, teeth scraping over it before releasing it. “But even you can behave for a few minutes while I make sure you’re ready.”

 

“I am ready. Fuck, I’ve been ready for weeks.”

 

He moved down, hands pressing her thighs apart. “Then you won’t mind at all if I make sure. I only had a taste of you before we were interrupted last time. I intend to remedy that. By the time I’m done, you’ll be more than ready.” He didn’t wait for another argument, probably because he knew one was coming, before he leaned down and drug his tongue along her cunt. The hand of one hand rested on her mound, pulling back the hood of her clit, as he focused his tongue there. He slid two fingers of his other hand into her.

 

The reaction was immediate. She gasped, forgetting all about complaining, her hips moving forward for more.

 

His breath spilled over her as he laughed. “What do you know, you were right. You are ready. You’re soaked already.”

 

“Shut up,” Nora muttered, hand running through his hair before gripping.

 

“I thought you liked my voice.”

 

“I like your tongue better.”

 

He mumbled, or maybe it was a word, she really wasn’t sure. All she knew was that he returned his tongue to her, those fingers pumping into her. She’d never argue that he didn’t know female anatomy again. He pressed into deep, fingers curling forward, hand on her mound helping to keep her hips still despite the way they thrust up.

 

Her eyes slid closed so she could lose herself in it. Her stomach warmed, body tensing, the contact almost too much, too many sensations. She squirmed but he didn’t stop, pushing her further like he knew exactly what she could take and demanded she take that.

 

His tongue slid up the side of her clit in a hard rub, lips against her, breath warm against her. His long fingers stoked her inside until she couldn’t take it anymore. Her heel rested on his shoulder, pushing as she came against his tongue, tightening around his fingers, but he never stopped, barely slowed, as if he wanted to push her again.

 

She gasped, unable to catch her breath when he didn’t stop. She pushed with her heel and he finally pulled his lips away from her. He wiped his mouth on the inside of her thigh after pressing a kiss there, and Nora shook at the intimacy of it. It felt like so much more than two people just fucking. 

 

He moved over her, though he didn’t remove his fingers. Each little movement from him caused another tremble from her, her hands going to his shoulders, nails digging in.

 

“I’m not sure you’re ready yet.” He thrust his fingers into her, drawing a broken moan, and the grin over his lips said he was having far too much fun playing.

 

“I’ve killed coursers. Don’t piss me off, Carrington.”

 

He repeated the motion with his fingers. “Why don’t you ever call me Richard?”

 

“Because you were never Richard to me. You were always Carrington. Does it bother you?”

 

“No. I think I like it. It helps separate who I was with who I am now.”

 

“Now that we’ve fucked around with names, would you fuck me?”

 

He laughed, pulling his fingers from her, brushing them against her clit and pulling a gasp from her. “I was trying to let you relax. You seem terribly sensitive.”

 

“And whose fault is that?”

 

He reached between them, and his cock brushed her. She shuddered again. Fuck, she was sensitive. She wanted to argue with him, but the teasing smile on his lips said he knew damned well that she was. “We really can hold off a few minutes, Nora.”

 

She brought her hands to his sides, nails pressing against him. “Don’t even think about putting this off anymore.”

 

He leaned in and brushed a kiss to her lips, still pressing against her but not entering her. “You’re sure? I know I ask it a lot, I just don’t ever want to be a source of regret for you. I care about you, Nora, more than I have anyone in a very long time.”

 

She returned the gentle kiss. “I’m sure. I’m not good with this feeling bullshit, but I can say I want you. My only regret is that it took this fucking long to get here.”

 

He laughed but nodded. “Okay. All right.” His hips moved forward, pressing into her, filling her. He continued to kiss her, but her lips remained still at the sensation. Yeah, it had been a while, and she was really fucking tight still from coming already.

 

Once he was fully seated inside her, his body brushed her clit and she shuddered again, squeezing tight around him.

 

“Oh, fuck,” he muttered, the curse word enough for her to laugh. “Laughing during sex is not nice, Nora.”

 

“You cursed. You never curse.”

 

“You seem to have me doing things I never expected to. Why not add cursing to that list? Now, if you’re quite done laughing, I hope to draw some better sounds from you.” He pulled back and thrust into her, deeper, and smiled at the sound that left her throat. “Much better.”

 

Nora hooked a leg around him to help meet every thrust and angle herself better. She wanted to be a smartass back, but her brain just refused to work fast enough to keep up.

 

Who cared about snappy comebacks when he pressed into her like that, his hand lifting to cup her breast, thumb toying with the nipple. He kept talking, but she lost track of the words. The words didn't matter, it wasn't like he was discussing battle plans or as if there'd be a test later.

 

Only his tone broke through. Nothing but content, praise, solid. He spoke to her as he took her, lips going to her ear to whisper, hand moving from her breast to hike her leg up more as he fucked her harder, like he couldn’t get close enough.

 

It was then she remembered, he’d been waiting a long time, too. Even if he’d been the one setting their timetable, every thrust told her how much he’d wanted this, how much he’d thought about it. Funny that they’d both been waiting, that everything seemed to get in the way, when this was exactly where they both wanted to get to.

 

Nora wrapped an arm around the back of his neck when his thrusts lost rhythm. He shoved in as he came, the hand on her thigh cranking down, his cock twitching inside of her as he filled her. His forehead pressed against her shoulder, breath blowing over her in a hard panting, chest rising and falling, sweat catching the light from the pipboy.

 

She expected him to roll over, like most men she’d known. Instead he lifted his head and brushed his fingers over her cheek. “When this is all over, Nora, I want to have that quiet life with you. I don’t want this to just be something we do to pass the time before one or both of us end up dead. I want something real.”

 

“What’s real anymore? I don’t know if we’ll ever be done with the Institute, if we’ll ever be free of all of this. If you’re wanting to wait for that, you might be waiting forever.”

 

He shook his head as he pulled out of her, moving to the side and settling behind her, pulling her against him. “I don’t mean we should wait. I mean, we should plan. I want you, Nora. Beyond the Railroad and the missions and anything else, I want you.”

 

Nora sighed as she held his arm around her. “I don’t know how to plan in this fucking mess of a world, but the only thing I do know, is that I want you, too.”

 

Neither spoke after that. Nora reached over and hit the button for her pipboy to bathe the room in darkness again, but sleep was uneasy at best. What sort of future could they have? He was stuck in the HQ and she was on missions constantly. Were they supposed to hide off in the catacombs to fuck in privacy on the rare times she returned and they had time before another emergency stole her away? What sort of life was that for either of them?

 

No answers came, and she didn’t really expect any. Instead, she took a deep breath and forced her eyes closed, falling into a fitful sleep.

 

Hours later, Nora woke, sweat dripping from her brow, body tense. Something was wrong. Her mind struggled to figure it out, to know why she was already reaching beneath her pillow for Deliverer.

 

She opened her eyes to find the yellow glow of a gen 2’s eyes by the door, rifle in its hand.

 

The Institute had found them.

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

Nora’s fingers curled around Deliverer, the weight a comfort. She never slept without it closeby, she’d survived too many times by a close call.

 

She swung the pistol around to shoot the synth in the darkness, guided only by the glow of its eyes.

 

The sound was soft, but loud enough for Carrington to stir. Nora covered his mouth and leaned in. “Institute. Get dressed.”

 

He nodded, so she let him go.

 

She rolled to the side, sliding out of bed and dressing herself. At the far end of the building, their room would be the last searched. It meant the synths would have already cleared the rest of the building.

 

Where was Sarah? Deacon? Any of the agents?

 

Carrington came to stand beside her, the rifle she’d given him in his hands.

 

Nora leaned back to whisper to him. “You need to stay back. I’ve got to figure out what we’re facing here.”

 

When he didn’t argue, she kissed him quickly. How many men would listen? How many would agree to follow the lead of a woman? The fact that he knew not only to listen, but that she knew what she was doing, made him smart. She wouldn't argue with him about wounds and he knew she could handle a gun better than he ever could. 

 

Nora peeked around the corner of the door, out into the hallway. Gen 2s. The good thing was that she’d failed to catch sight of coursers. They could deal with Gen 2s without much problem. Sure, it burned the safehouse, but more would live.

 

She fired in rapid succession, taking down both. They crept through the building, moving quickly, eliminated the gen 1s and gen 2s in their path until they reached the lobby.

 

Sarah was on her knees in front of a courser, High Rise’s body beside her, blood pooled around him. No other synths were there. How many did he have? Had they already been recalled? Escaped? Nora wasn’t sure.

 

No Deacon, but the bastard was probably perched somewhere waiting for a good shot. She refused to consider he might be dead. Not Deacon.

 

“Where is he?” The courser crouched in front of Sarah, grasping her chin in his hand. “You would not have left him, so where is he?”

 

Sarah met the courser’s gaze. “He left. He didn’t want me anymore, so he dropped me off here and left. How did you find me?”

 

A cold smile crossed his lips. “We always knew where you were.” He took her arm, despite the way she tried to pull it back. He turned it over and pressed his thumb against the inside of her forearm. “This is a tracking chip. Similar to a courser chip, but without the ability to transport. We let you go so you could find him for us, but we suspected you would not betray him, so we had this plan as well.”

 

Sarah pulled on her arm until he released her, causing her to fall backwards. “Well, you’re too late. I can’t lead you to him, I don’t know where he is.”

 

“You’re lying, and not well.” The courser looked to his left at a gen2. “Have you searched every wing?”

 

“Yes. No since of him or Nora.”

 

Nora? The name had her shoulders tensing. The more she learned about the Institute, the more obvious it was that they had taken an interest in her.

 

“Nora is not important right now. She is not to be killed, but neither are we to obtain her. Father has made Liam of the highest priority right now.”

 

The elevator doors opened, and a second courser exited. “The gen 2s we sent to the western side of the building are dead. It seems someone here still have fight in them.”

 

The first courser frowned. “It must be Nora. All reports say Liam is not a fighter. Any sign of them?”

 

“No. There was a window with a ladder at the end of the hallway. I suspect they fled.”

 

The first courser moved his gaze back to Sarah. “So they left you? You are always left, aren’t you? How sad. You were created as the perfect trap, and yet you can’t even keep some doctor’s attention? Come along, let’s go home.”

 

Carrington moved forward, but Nora lifted her hand and shook her head. Instead, she moved forward, gun held up in surrender. Buy time, come up with a plan. That was the Railroad playbook.

 

The two coursers turned, rifles up, but neither fired. Well, at least it seemed they were telling the truth about not killing her.

 

“Nora Jacobs,” One said. “We are not here for you. Where is Richard Liam?”

 

“Why do you want him? Seems like a lot of work to go through for a doctor.”

 

“The Institute requires good doctors, and all our research has shown that he is just that.”

 

“You already lost three coursers to this. Hard to think anyone could offset that price.”

 

“Coursers can be grown and we will make more. Give him to us, Nora. I don’t want to kill you, but I will.”

 

“I thought ‘Father’ said not to.”

 

“He also said Liam is the most important thing, which makes you expendable.” The courser lifted his gun to point it at Nora. “So where is he? He is not worth dying for.”

 

Nora pulled her shoulders back. “You can fuck yourself.”

 

“Wait!” Carrington’s voice had her wanting to turn around and yell.

 

“Richard Liam. I thought you’d be hiding someone close by.”

 

“If you let them all go, I will come with you.”

 

“The synth needs to be returned. She is for you. And you will come with us no matter what.”

 

Carrington shook his head. “I may have no choice but to come with you, but you cannot force me to work once you get me to the Institute. It requires negotiating on your side. My terms are not unreasonable. You let Nora go. You let Sarah go. You let anyone else still alive here go free, and I will return with you and perform the work you require.”

 

The courser tilted his head before casting his gaze between Carrington and Nora. Finally, he nodded. “Very well. They will be allowed to leave here, but if we run into them again? The Institute has no mercy.”

 

“Yes, I learned that lesson when you slaughtered my wife and my son. That is not something I’m likely to forget.”

 

Nora wrapped her fingers around Carrington’s arm. “Don’t do this, please.”

 

He turned and pulled her into a kiss, quick and hard and filled with more than a little pain. “I have to. I won’t let you die for me, Nora. I will not cross your name off that board.”

 

She whispered to him. “I’ll come for you. There’s no where they can take you where I won’t find you.”

 

“I know. Goodbye, Nora.” Damn, those words didn't sound sure. This was his goodbye, him checking out. He moved away, to stand beside the courser. 

 

A flash of light and he was gone, leaving them in the lobby with the first courser and three gen2s.

 

The courser shook his head. “You are loose ends we cannot afford. I would love to honor Liam’s request, but it is much too dangerous.” He lifted his rifle at Sarah.

 

A bullet fired, but it was his body that flew backward.

 

Nora lifted Deliverer and unloaded rapid shots into the gen2s, dropping them one after the other.

 

Deacon swung down from a shadowed spot in the rafters, and Nora ran to him, throwing a punch.

 

“You let them take him!”

 

Deacon held his jaw but didn’t retaliate. “No choice, Charmer. Too many to take and no shot. You know we have to do this smart.” He said nothing else before kneeling beside Sarah. “Let me see your arm.”

 

She held it up, not even flinching when he pulled a knife.

 

His thumb pressed into her forearm until he found the tiny imperfection, like a grain of rice. “This will hurt.”

 

She said nothing and didn’t move as he slid the blade into her forearm, hooking it around the chip and flicking it out.

 

“I’m going to get Sarah out of here and plant this little beauty somewhere really nasty. Hopefully they track it again. You should get back to HQ.”

 

“No. I’ve got a transporter to build. I have to get there, Deacon. I've got to get him out.”

 

“We aren’t ready to build it, Charmer. We’re working on it, but we don’t have the stuff yet, especially since we lost this safehouse. You know we have to do this smart; we've got to plan and take out time.”

 

“Fuck time. You can talk to me about time when it's the person you love trapped! If we aren't ready, I guess I’m going to go pay the Prydwen a visit.”

 

“Charmer-“

 

“-I don’t want to hear it. Oh, and Deacon? I’ll break anyone’s fingers who tries to cross his name off that board.”

 

Deacon sighed and shook his head before guiding Sarah out, leaving Nora alone in the lobby with the dead bodies.

 

The silence closed in around her until she couldn't breathe, and she wanted nothing more than to hear Carrington's humming.

 


	22. Chapter 22

 

Maxson folded his hands behind his back, gaze taking in Nora in a slow perusal. She hadn’t met him yet, having avoided Danse’s offer as long as possible.

 

The Brotherhood were fascists, no way around that. It was only after finding the Railroad she’d really realized it, though. So while she held the rank of Initiate, field promoted by Danse after helping him find his stupid tech, she’d never dealt with them anymore.

 

But if anyone had what she needed to build to transport right away, it was them.

 

“It took you a long time to come to us, Initiate Jacobs. I would have expected you to check in when the request was made months ago.”

 

“The Commonwealth is a busy place, what can I say?”

 

“So I’ve heard. The reports claim you killed three coursers. Is that true?”

 

“Nope. Three coursers in Diamond City. I killed another to cut a chip out of his neck.” 

 

“You are in possession of a courser chip?”

 

Nora shook her head. “Not anymore. I have friend who decoded it already, and then I gave that information to a very large and green friend who gave me schematics on how to get into the Institute.”

 

“You have a great many questionable friends.”

 

“Trust me, the assholes in power armor are the strangest of ‘em.”

 

He cocked up an eyebrow but didn’t rise to the insult. “And what are you doing here? It seems you were content with pursuing the Institute without our help. Despite our offer at giving you aid and a cause, you've avoided coming here and meeting with me. You made your position clear months ago.”

 

“Because you have more resources than my other friends. I need to build this.” Nora grabbed one of the guards and pushed them to bend forward, then spread the schematics out on his back as a makeshift table. “These are the directions to build a transporter to get into the Institute. I brought the magnet we need and the military grade circuit board already, but I can’t get this thing made on my own, not as fast as I need to.”

 

“And what is the rush? The Institute has been operational for centuries. Why the hurry now?”

 

“They’ve stolen two people from me, and I am tired of waiting. So, Elder, do you want to get in or should I just keep doing this shit myself? Because I'm getting in there one way or another. Your only question is if you want a part of the action.”

 

Maxson laughed, then nodded. “Yes, I do believe you'll make it in with or without our help. Take these to Ingram at the airport. You’ll have everything you need.”

 

#

 

Nora wiped the sweat from her brow, smearing dirt and grease. Two weeks since Carrington had been taken, two weeks alone. She was losing her mind trying to get this all done. She hadn't eaten more than a few bits, hadn't slept other than the times she collapsed. She'd work through the night, staying when Ingram left until she returned in the morning.

 

When she thought about stopping, she'd think about Carrington, trapped and alone and possibly hurt, and she'd push through a few more hours.

 

A hand set on her shoulder and she yanked away, reaching for her pistol.

 

“It is just me,” came Maxson’s voice.

 

Nora took a deep breath and removed her hand from the pistol. “Sorry, Elder. I'm a little on edge.”

 

“You need to eat and sleep.”

 

“What I need is to finish this fucking thing, but everything I do seems to break it. I’m not a fucking scientist, and this is so outside of my pay grade. I never was able to program my VCR, either.”

 

“Ingram assures me it will work. The schematics were drawn up by someone with no engineering background, which has required extra planning to make them workable. Another day or two, at most, and it will be operational. However, if you do not take care of yourself, you will not be.”

 

Nora took one more look at the debris, then pulled her foot back and kicked it as hard as she could. Pain radiated up her foot and half way up her leg.

 

Maxson shook his head and slid an arm around Nora’s waist. “You are done for the day. Elder’s orders. Let’s get you up to the Prydwen.”

 

After a stop to see Cade, which determined she’d broken her foot with that unwise kick, and a stimpack so it would heal by morning, Nora was in Danse’s quarters with Maxson.

 

“Why are you working this hard? You said they’d stolen people from you, a common story it seems, but I do not see many working as hard as you are.”

 

Nora ate the food, sitting back on the bed. “First, they took my son. I have no idea if he’s even alive or not.”

 

“That would explain a desire to get to him, but this fervor you have now? This is new.”

 

“Two coursers showed up and took a man I care about. They decided his skills as a doctor would be useful. I promised him that I’d come for him.”

 

Maxson tilted his head, eyes wiser than they should be at his age. “A doctor? I have to say, I’d expect your partner to be a warrior like yourself. A life like ours does not give itself to gentle people like healers. It always kills one of them or both. Tell me what it is you see in him that drives you like this.”

 

"He's kind. Well, he's an asshole, I guess, but it's because he's tired of seeing death. I'm surrounded by people who cause death and he doesn't. Hell, I kill people, and even if I do it to try and save others, that doesn't change that I'm a killer. He isn't. And nothing changes that about him. He's steady, in knowing who he is and accepting it."

 

"You are like I am, Nora. People forged by war and pain and death. We excel in this world because we understand it, because we bend it to our will. That is not something to be ashamed of."

 

“I’m a fighter because I have to be, not because I want to be. This world turned me into one, but it’s not what I want. I want to be able to stop fighting, to stop killing, and he makes me think I could have that. He reminds me of my old life, of a time when I had peace.”

 

“No one is as good at it as you are unless they were made for it. You can pretend it is a result of circumstance, but people like us are made, and we do not change.”

 

He voiced the same thing Nora had thought about, the thing she feared, that this would forever be her life. That she'd never have anything more, that she'd been tainted by too much to ever go back. That she didn't deserve anything new. Carrington had made her want more, but she still didn't think she deserved it.

 

She sighed, head dropping back against the wall. “Maybe, but fuck, maybe he could fix that.”

 

Maxson set a hand on hers, a soft touch that meant too much. “Why fix something that isn’t broken? We will help you get where you need to go, but consider if a quiet life is really what you want. You could continue with us after this all, revel in what you can do, in who you are, instead of trying to change it.” He squeezed gently before standing. “Goodnight, Nora.”

 

Nora said nothing back as Maxson left. What he said sounded. . . not entirely wrong. As much as she and Carrington wanted that life, part of her feared they’d never get it. She had too much blood on her hands; how could she ever wash that off? How could she expect that they’d live some idealistic life somewhere where she didn’t have to be Charmer, where she didn’t have to do this all?

 

Even if they finished it, she’d always have enemies coming for her. Could she put him in danger like that?

 

She turned off the light and laid down in the bed, wrapping her arms around the pillow, wondering where Carrington was. Was he lying down to sleep? Was he thinking about her?

 

Was he even alive?

 

Nora squeezed her eyes shut and refused to give into the sorrow. A day or two, that was it.

 

#

 

Nora stood on the transporter, decked out in her best armor, more weapons than most settlements had strapped to her.

 

This was it, finally.

 

Maxson walked up to the transport pad. “Are you ready?”

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be to have my atoms scattered and then reassembled by a machine I can’t even find the on button for.” The humor fell flat.

 

He set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Keep your head on straight and you will do fine. Good luck, Nora.”

 

She smiled at the strange Elder, a mixture of a kid and a man far too old for his few years, and nodded. “Let’s do this shit.”

 

Maxson backed off the transport and walked to the terminal beside Ingram. He offered her one more nod before the machine turned on, the sounds almost deafening around her.

 

Everything went white, and when it came too again, she was somewhere else, white and clean. It could only be the Institute.

 

She set her hand on her rifle, ready to make them pay for everything they’d taken. Maxson was right about one thing; she was a fighter, and she was damned well ready to prove it to them.

 


	23. Chapter 23

 

Carrington dug his fingers into his neck as he closed his eyes, trying to ease the headache that never seemed to go away.

 

“Are you in pain, sir?” The courser, X6 as he called himself, never went far. They didn’t trust Carrington.

 

Good, they shouldn’t. He might not have the same skills as Deacon, but he could make alliances. He already had done so with a synth who worked at getting synths out. 

 

“The lights, I suspect. I am not acclimated to this sort of lighting and it strains my eyes. Is that why you wear the glasses? Or do they give you some bonus to perceived aggression? I hate to tell you, but I think the all leather look serves well enough.”

 

X6 didn’t rise to the thin insult. “Do you require anything for the pain?”

 

“No. I will adjust.”

 

Hopefully not. It had been two weeks, but he knew Nora was coming. The woman would stop at nothing, and despite the amazing things he’d found inside the Institute, none of them would save it.

 

X6 nodded, turning back into the statue while Carrington looked over the file given to him that morning.

 

Up until that point, he’d been closely watched by another doctor while treating basic injuries. They wanted to test his knowledge and skill. While they didn’t say it, the reasoning was obvious. They must have found him acceptable because he'd gone from cuts and scratches to diagnosis, all the while with other doctors testing everything he said.

 

Today had been different. Upon arriving from his quarters to the bioscience department, he’d been taken to a back office and given the file of someone with late stage pancreatic cancer.

 

If they were hoping for a miracle, they would not get one. The man the file was for would live perhaps another two months, if they were very lucky.

 

Carrington had ideas on how to keep him comfortable, how to help slow the progress, but nothing more.

 

He would die.

 

The door slid open, but Carrington did not raise his gaze from the papers in front of him. He drug his fingers over the words.

 

“Father,” X6 said.

 

“Hello, X6.”

 

“Should you be here? While Liam had proven himself a capable physician, security is still a risk.”

 

The man answered. “He is a doctor, X6. I doubt it matters what we do or how angry we make him, he isn’t inclined to harm people.”

 

Carrington lifted his gaze and turned to face the new man, though he didn't rise from the chair at the desk. “So you are the infamous Father, Director here. I have to tell you, use of such a title reminds me of the cults that spring up on the surface. The Pillars of the Community, the Cult of Atom, they all do the same. Nothing but false hope for people while they use them.”

 

Father nodded, but did not address what Carrington said. “You avoided us for longer than most can manage. I am surprised you crawled from your hiding space.”

 

“I had a patient who required help.”

 

“Always the doctor, as I thought. It is why you will help people here no matter how you hate us.”

 

Carrington’s jaw tightened. “And do I not have a good reason to hate you? You killed my wife and my son.”

 

“Those were unfortunate. Your wife was a necessary strategic move. We replaced her, however, with a synth who would serve the same functions. And your son? That was a mistake. The courser who killed him was reprogrammed afterward.”

 

“And that makes it okay? That means I should forget it?”

 

“No. I do not expect anyone who has lost people will simply forget them. I just hope the understanding will allow you to work with us.” The man smiled before sitting in a chair beside the desk Carrington worked at. His white hair and lined face said he’d managed to an age few on the surface made it to. However, his sunken eyes, the pale tinge to his skin? It told him more.

 

“This is your file, isn’t it?” Carrington tapped his fingers against the papers.

 

“Yes, it is. I am sorry about the methods we had to go through to obtain you, but we have done everything possible with the people here. The only hope was to find outside help. Can you help?”

 

Carrington hated giving bad news. When Nora had woken, after surgery, and he’d had to tell her that she could no longer have children, it had hurt. Telling people things they don’t want to hear, that they lost something important, that they lost a part of their future, that they would lost their entire future, never become easier. Still, they deserved to know.

 

“I have potential treatments to prolong your life by a few months, perhaps. I also have options that can reduce the side effects and make you more comfortable, but I’m afraid nothing will stop this. It is too late.”

 

Father nodded. “I assumed as much. It was the department heads who wished to find you, I have already made peace with what will happen. People can only cheat death for so long. What are the options you have?”

 

Carrington pulled the files closer. “These files are more complete than I am used to, but I don’t see family history.”

 

“I don’t have much family history to give. I never knew either of my parents.”

 

“A story far too common. Your blood tests are very good. Where are you from? Radiation exposure usually accounts for far less ideal results. Even growing up down here would not account for them.”

 

“That is a very long story. All I can say is that my DNA is far less ruined by radiation because of my parentage.”

 

Carrington looked over the paperwork as the story fit together. Just puzzle pieces that would tell him how to treat the patient. The less degraded DNA would mean he could tolerate the medications to slow the cancer better. Who were his parents? He hadn’t seen numbers like these other than. . .

 

He froze, hand stilling on the paper. Carrington lifted his gaze to Father. “You are Shaun, the child Nora is looking for.” Not a question. The file said everything he needed to know. These were prewar genetics numbers, and he could not imagine the Institute could have stolen another prewar child. The odds were too high to consider. 

 

And it would kill Nora, to know she'd missed her child's entire life, and that the child would soon die? This was not the news he'd hope she'd get. 

 

The man, Shaun, nodded. “Impressive deduction. There is little point in lying, it is hardly a secret. Yes, Nora and Nate Jacobs were my parents. I understand from the disaster in Diamond City, and again at the railroad safehouse, that you know Nora?”

 

“Yes, I do. She has been looking for you.”

 

“I had wondered if she’d try to find the child stolen from her. When I heard she killed Kellogg, well, it told me perhaps bringing her here was not a good idea. The Commonwealth has turned her into someone less desirable for Institute life.”

 

“She will find her way here.”

 

“How? Killing a few coursers is not the same as accessing something with no route to the surface? If she wishes to dig here, she can try, but I suspect even she cannot live long enough to reach it.”

 

An alarm sounded, the room bathing in a red glow. Father twisted, gaze darting up to the lights, the sound of a voice announcing an intruder having him stand.

 

Carrington couldn’t help the chuckle. There was only one person who could create a commotion like that, one person who could turn an entire empire like the Institute upside down. “Well, it looks like Nora is here.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

This was what the whole damned Commonwealth had been so frightened of? Nora took down another Gen 2 who rushed the door, the sobbing scientist cowering away from her in a corner, face a mess of tears and make-up.

 

Real, honest to fucking god make-up.

 

“Where is he? Richard Liam. Doctor. You assholes abducted him, if that helps ring a bell. Oh, for fucks sake, would you stop crying already?”

 

The woman sniffled, opened her mouth, but started up with a whole nother round of tears.

 

These are the people everyone was afraid of? One little gun and they turned into damsels in distress. So much for the boogeyman of the Commonwealth. 

 

Nora lifted the rifle to the side, holding it up to show she wasn’t going to shoot. “Not gonna hurt you, okay? If I wanted to shoot you, I’d have done it already.”

 

She started sobbing again and shaking.

 

“Oh fuck me. That was supposed to be reassuring. Look, I’m just looking for the doctor. Tell me where he is, and I’ll get out of your way.”

 

“Bioscience.”

 

Finally. “Where is that? No, don’t try to say it, just point, huh?”

 

The woman pointed her trembling finger toward the far door.

 

Nora gave the lady a mocking thumbs up before heading through the door she’d indicated. The start had been easy. No alarms, no one shooting at her. Damn near pleasant. Hell, she’d thought maybe this whole thing might have been a breeze.

 

Then she’d stupidly thought she could blend in and walked into a room full of people in bright white lab coats.

 

Turned out, her vault suit and blood, or mud, covered armor didn’t fit in well. They’d noticed right away, go figure. The alarms had gone off, with all the humans and gen 3s diving for cover. Fucking cowards. At least it meant she didn’t have to kill anyone. She did hate to have bystanders killed. Not that it didn't happen, and she couldn't really call these people innocent, but when it could be avoided? All the better. 

 

Things had gotten more challenging after that. Not terribly challenging, but still.

 

She twisted through the doorways, occasionally asking someone for bioscience. They’d usually cry and beg, but after some prompting point.

 

The last door slid open, and Nora’s breath came out in a rush.

 

She had to stop herself from running to Carrington, from throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a kiss. Fuck, she could breathe again. No matter how confident she’d tried to act, she’d been terrified she’d get down there to discover he’d been killed. He was alive, he looked healthy, everything else could wait.

 

Beside him, a man in a white lab coat stood, and Nora could see power no matter the asshole who carried it. This man was in charge. He showed it in the way his shoulders pulled back, in the way he took up space. Men playing power games with no concept of sacrifice or real power.

 

Nora lifted her lip in disgust. “You run this place, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, I do.” The man folded his hands behind him, reminding her of Maxson. Both men who ruled by image, who tried to force others to do as they pleased.

 

“Well that fucking sucks for you, doesn’t it?” She lifted her rifle.

 

Carrington moved to the side, covering the man and blocking the shot.

 

“Move. I’d like to shoot him and you’re making it difficult.”

 

“You can’t shoot him, Nora.”

 

“If you moved, I sure as fuck could. One little pull of the trigger, trust me, I can manage that. He stole my son and tried to steal you from me. I’m thinking a bullet is the best he’s gonna get from me. Now, kindly move your ass.”

 

Carrington lifted his hands, as if trying to calm her. “I won’t let you shoot him. He’s. . .” He took a deep breath, then sighed. “He’s your son, Shaun.”

 

Nora frowned. “That’s not possible. My son is a child, and this asshole has to be sixty.”

 

“He was abducted a little longer ago than we thought. I’ve seen his file, Nora. He is prewar, just like you are. He is your son.”

 

Nora went to respond, but something struck the back of her head in a hard crunch.

 

Carrington’s angry yell made her smile before she collapsed forward and everything went black.

 

#

 

Carrington rushed forward, ignoring the courser who had struck Nora. He knelt beside her, fingers touching the back of her head, sliding through her hair. “She wasn’t going to shoot, and she had no shot even if she was going to. This was not necessary.”

 

“She threated the Director of the Institute. She destroyed countless gen 2s on her way here. She is lucky all she got was knocked out.” X6 remained beside Nora, the gun he’d used to strike her still in his hands.

 

Carrington’s fingers came away with blood on them. He reached his hand out, not looking at anyone, sliding into doctor mode. “Stimpack, now.”

 

Shaun set one into his hand, and Carrington injected it into her arm. It seemed he was always trying to keep her alive when everything in the Commonwealth seemed determined to kill her.

 

“We should put her into a cell where she, and we, are safe,” X6 said.

 

“You will not put her in a cell.” Carrington shoved the words out from between his teeth, trying to keep his temper in check. “She is unarmed.”

 

“She infiltrated the most secure place in the entire Commonwealth, a feat no one else has managed. I don’t think unarmed is an appropriate term for her ever.”

 

Shaun leaned out the door, speaking to a guard there.

 

Carrington continued his exam, to check for any other injuries she might have suffered. The battle hadn’t lasted long, but leave it to Nora to end up wounded. He found none, though.

 

She looked. . . perfect.

 

Finally, Shaun reentered. “She can be taken to quarters with a guard placed outside.”

 

“Father-“

 

“-that is my decision. She did not kill or wound a single human or gen 3, only gen 2s. She had the opportunity to kill many others, could have turned this into a massacre, but she did not.”

 

“She will stay in my quarters.” Carrington lifted Nora bridal style, pulling her against his chest. “I am not feeling very trusting of you all, especially not while she is unconscious.”

 

Shaun nodded. “Very well. When she wakes up, I’d like to speak to her. If we can come to an understanding, she may prove to be a convenient asset yet.”

 

 If Shaun thought that, he was in for a disappointment when she woke up. 

 

Nora was many things, but convenient hadn’t ever been one.

 


	25. Chapter 25

 

Nora woke with a startled jerk. Her head ached, but that didn’t stop her from swinging an elbow at the body beside her.

 

Her elbow struck something far too hard to be a person, though. A wall?

 

It didn’t matter. She rolled to the side to find herself falling down. She grasped blindly.

 

“Nora!”

 

She sucked in a breath at Carrington’s voice. “I can’t see,” she said, nothing but blackness surrounding her.

 

“Be still, please. You’re fine.” His hands touched her face, and then she could see. He pulled away an icepack that had a strap to hold it to her eyes. “I thought you’d have a headache and the ice would help.”

 

Nora wiped her arm across her face to catch the cold condensation that had formed from the melting ice. Fuck, were there tears, too? She ignored it and scurried forward, throwing her arms around Carrington and pulling him into a kiss.

 

He didn’t respond at first, like she’d startled him, but after a moment he released a soft groan and kissed her back. His hand grasped the back of her neck, avoiding the spot she’d been struck, his other hand running over her side like he needed to ensure she was okay.

 

After a moment, she pulled away. “Fuck, I missed you. Sorry it took me so long. Turns out building a transporter from scratch is really fucking complicated.”

 

He smiled, thumb rubbing over her cheek. “I missed you, too.”

 

Nora let her gaze travel the room, taking in the rather nice accommodations. “This is a nice cell.”

 

“These are my quarters. I brought you here after X6 struck you.”

 

“X6? Is that his name? I don’t think I like him.”

 

“Me either.” He frowned. “Do you remember what I told you, Nora?”

 

“That that old man is my son? Yeah, that’s the sort of thing I wouldn’t forget.”

 

He nodded. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t how you wanted this to go. There’s more, though.”

 

“Worse than finding out that I’ve missed my son’s entire life, and that he runs the most hated and feared group in the Commonwealth? Just my luck.”

 

Carrington grabbed Nora’s hand in his, and, well fuck, that meant this wasn’t going to be good. Nothing like him trying to comfort her before he even out and said it. “Shaun is dying. He has advanced stage cancer, and there’s no way to cure him. He has, at best, two months left.”

 

“He’s dying?” Her gaze dropped to where Carrington gripped her hand.

 

She’d been so ready to go against him, and now? Now she learns he’s dying. She didn’t have the time to talk to him, to learn about him. It was like losing him when she’d just found him.

 

Carrington nodded. “Yes. I’m. . .” he sighed, then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t much, but it’s all I can say. He wishes to see you when you’re awake.”

 

“Well, I guess we better go see him. What’s the worst that could happen?”

 

#

 

“I cannot believe you punched him.” Carrington paced the room, feet heavy against the floor.

 

Nora sat on the bed, hands folded in her lap, not feeling a bit sorry about any of it. “He had it coming.”

 

“I know you worked with Deacon long enough to learn how to control yourself.”

 

“He is an asshole. I don’t know who he got that from.”

 

Carrington folded his arms and cocked up an eyebrow.

 

Nora groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “Fine, he got it from me.” Nate had never been an asshole. If anything, Nate was overly sweet. He was the type to wait while people cut in line in front of him, where Nora liked to make a scene.

 

She supposed punching her son, the Director of the Institute in the face, was considered making a scene.

 

Carrington pulled her hands away from her face. “It could have been worse.”

 

“Really? How?”

 

“You could have shot him.”

 

“We both know I would have if they hadn’t taken my gun away. I just couldn’t listen to him anymore. The pompous asshole was putting down synths, acting as if he owned everything. He’s small time, though.”

 

“Yes, I believe he realizes that now.”

 

“What will he do?”

 

“Most likely? Kick you out. He hasn’t seemed interested in killing you, so I’d bet he’ll simply have you exiled.”

 

“Lovely. I’m going to lose you again.”

 

Carrington set his hands on her cheeks. “Not for long. We both know the Minutemen and the Brotherhood would have more direct ways to assault this place.”

 

“They’ll kill the synths.”

 

“No, they won’t, because I am already working on that angle here. I’ve met the man and the synth who have been getting synths out. They’ll help me organize the synths here so we can get them out when you come back.”

 

“I am coming back.”

 

He nodded and pressed his head against hers. “I know you are.”

 

Nora reached for his pants, unbuttoning them in a rush.

 

“I doubt we have time for this.”

 

“We do if we’re quick.”

 

“I don’t want to have to be quick.”

 

She worked the zipper down of her vaultsuit after his pants were undone, yanking it off her arms. “I don’t want to have to be quick, either. But I’ll take it over not having you at all. I don’t know when I’ll make it back, Carrington. Fuck, I’m not stupid, I don’t know if I’ll live through it at all. Give me this, please.”

 

He sighed, but helped her with her vaultsuit. “You deserve more than this.”

 

“No. I don’t even deserve you at all, but it won’t stop me from having you.”

 

He moved above her and reached between them, fingers rubbing her clit in quick motions that had her lifting her hips toward him.

 

“I’m ready.” She tried to pull him forward.

 

“A moment more.”

 

Nora dug her fingers into his shoulders. “I don’t need a minute more, and we don’t have a fucking minute more.”

 

“You are always impatient,” he scolded, but pressed into her in a solid thrust, taking her all at once.

 

A moan spilled from Nora’s throat as she clawed at his shoulders and back, hard enough she might have cut him.

 

He didn’t seem to care as he took her hard and fast, his lips against her throat.

 

She writhed beneath him, hips lifting to meet his thrusts, to take him deeper. She wasn’t kidding, she didn’t know when she’d see him again, if she ever would. This needed to stay with her, so she lost herself in the feeling of his body. She shoved away the anger and fear that had ruled her and just focused on him. Nothing but his body and hers and how they felt together.

 

She wouldn’t waste a fucking second of this worrying. 

 

A knock on the door had her groaning. “Ma’am? Please open the door.”

 

“Go away!”

 

Carrington laughed against her neck even as he kept up his pace.

 

“If you do not open this door, we will open it," the voice threatened.

 

Nora reached for the glass on the side table and chucked it at the door. “Give me a minute.”

 

“Open this door now, Mother,” came Shaun’s voice.

 

“Look, you really don’t want to come in right now." A hard thrust from Carrington had her sentence ending on a throaty moan. 

 

Carrington seemed to ignore the entire mess, his rhythm slipping, growing erratic. She pressed her lips to his ear. “I love you so fucking much.”

 

He came, shuddering before pulling out of her in quick motions, working at his clothing as Nora worked to redress herself.

 

“You are a complete disaster,” he said, a smile on his face. “But leave it to me to fall in love with you.”

 

The door opened as Nora worked the zipper up on her suit, leaving Shaun standing at the door, taking in the scene of both disheveled and grinning. There was little question about what had been going on in the room before.

 

Nora shrugged, fastening the collar of her suit. “Told you that you didn’t want to come in.”

 

Shaun shook his head, his eye already darkening. “You are being escorted to the transport where you will be removed from the Institute. And do not bother attempting to hijack a signal in again, we have already solved that security breech.”

 

Nora turned and gave Carrington another kiss before a courser yanked her away. “Don’t get too comfortable, I’ll be back.” The courser hauled her away from the room, and she pointed at Shaun. “The same advice goes for you, so you should be really fucking careful. This is a long fucking way from over.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

 

Nora paced until Maxson caught her arm, pulling her to a stop.

 

“Relax. This will work.”

 

“Easy for you to say. This is just a mission for you.”

 

He sighed but released her. “We both know going in there with a clouded head isn’t smart. It won’t help you save him if you get yourself killed due to a lack of focus.”

 

“A month. Building this fucking robot took us a month, Maxson.”

 

“Which is a miraculous feat and you know it. With anyone else, it would have taken six.”

 

Nora rubbed her hands against her eyes. He was right, of course. A month to build a fucking four story robot wasn’t bad. Still, she hadn’t heard anything from Carrington, Deacon had fallen off the radar, along with Sarah, and Nora couldn’t manage any real sleep.

 

She was dragging, just needing to get back, to finish this.

 

And, fuck, that had occurred to her. If they pulled this off, her and Carrington would be done. Sure, they’d need to help out here and there, but the crisis, the living in fear, the hiding? That would all be done with.

 

And Maxson had agreed to let the synths go. He hadn’t had a choice, since Nora reminded him she could work with the Minutemen instead. Anyone who put down their weapons could evacuate before they blew the fucker to the sky. It was the best they could manage in terms of a compromise, and she knew Carrington would have the synths ready to evac when they got there. 

 

Maxson wasn’t stupid. As much as he’d have liked to kill every synth there, he knew destroying the Institute was both more important and more personally rewarding. He could return to the Capital Wasteland as the Elder who had destroyed the Institute, and they wouldn’t care a bit that he’d allowed some synths to evacuate.

 

“You need to get some sleep, Nora. Tomorrow we’ll activate Liberty Prime and attack, and if you’re in this condition, I might not allow you to fight.”

 

Nora cocked up an eyebrow. “You really think you could do that?”

 

He sighed before crossing his arms. “No, probably not. Still, go to bed.”

 

Nora nodded. He was right. She needed sleep. Tomorrow was the real fight, the one she’d been gearing up for since she’d woken up.

 

She just never expected to be trying to save someone she loved, and fighting against her son.

 

The Commonwealth did love to fuck people over.

 

#

 

Nora’s back hit the wall when Maxson shoved her. She pushed his hand from her chest. “Don’t push me around.”

 

“Then keep your eyes open, Nora. You’re distracted.”

 

“And you’re an asshole, but you don’t see me shoving you around because of it.”

 

His lips pressed together, the show of temper that said he was wondering why he’d ever worked with her. But this was why, because she managed things no one else could.

 

Here they were, assaulting the Institute, a place no one before her had managed to even find. So he could forgive her quirks.

 

This was done, though. They’d taken out so many of the enemy, already hooked the bomb in. They’d found Shaun’s dead body in his room, gun in hand, bullet through his head. The coward hadn't even been willing to face the people he'd betrayed on the surface.

 

But where was Carrington?

 

“We have to go, Nora.” Maxson had said the same thing before.

 

“I won’t. I won’t leave without Carrington, and you won’t blow this place until I find him.”

 

Maxson shoved Nora against another wall, leaning into her face. “You will not cause us to fail this mission. We both know he might be dead. A month is a long time. He organized the synths.” Maxson sneered out the word. “He did want he needed to. We have to go.”

 

Nora reached for her weapon, but Maxson twisted behind her, capturing her wrists and speaking into his radio. “Proctor Ingram, transport Nora and myself to the relay room.”

 

When Nora re-materialized, she jerked away from Maxson’s grip, turning and shoving him. “You asshole! I’m going back. If you blow this place then do it, but I’m not leaving with him.”

 

As she turned, the face she needed to see walked through the door. Blood streaked his face, a cut on his cheek, his arm held against him. He held the hand of a child, and Nora frowned.

 

The child saw Nora and ran toward her. “Mom! I was so afraid we wouldn’t find you.” He threw his arms around her waist, hugging her tight.

 

Carrington walked over, wrapping his good arm around her, leaning in and whispering into her ear. “His name is Shaun. I think he was supposed to be a gift from your son, a replacement for the one the Institute stole.”

 

Nora set her hand on the small child’s back, an awkward touch despite the way he clung to her. “I was so afraid we’d be too late, that we wouldn’t find you before you left.” He pulled back after a minute. “Mom, are you okay?”

 

Maxson’s voice had them all turning. “Is that what I think it is?”

 

“Shut up,” Nora snapped. “Don’t you dare say it.”

 

“It was one thing to allow them to leave, but this is too far. You can’t have one pretending to be a child.” Maxson lifted his weapon. “I will not allow it to leave.”

 

The child huddled into Nora’s side, shaking.

 

“Put the gun down, Maxson. We’ve almost finished this, don’t fuck it up now.” Nora set her hand on her own weapon.

 

Carrington took the child’s hand and pulled him behind them, shielding him behind both their bodies.

 

“You ask for too much, Nora. I accepted your desire to let the synths go, to let you do your missions as you pleased, but this? This is too much.

 

“I gave you your victory. You will not hurt him. Look around you, Maxson, look at this place falling apart because of the last person who stole something from me. Do you want to do that? Do you want to put yourself in my path?”

 

Maxson snarled and put his rifle down. “Fine. Let’s finish this.”

 

Nora pulled in a deep breath. She turned and pulled Carrington into a quick kiss. “I have to go. Take Shaun and meet me in HQ, I don’t trust Maxson to keep his word. I’ll be there as soon as we’re done.”

 

Carrington ran his hand over her cheek, like he was memorizing her face, then pulled away, nodding. "I'll keep him safe." 

 

#

 

Nora tilted her head as she stared at the two, Carrington seated on a mattress in PAM’s room, Shaun sleeping, back pressed to Carrington’s leg.

 

It was just like Nora and him that first night.

 

Carrington’s eyes fluttered opened, and his smile melted her. He push himself upright, slow to not wake the child, before he walked over to Nora by the door.

 

He slid his hands into her hair and pulled her forward into a kiss, the sort she’d wanted in the Institute, the one that said how damned much she’d needed him. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers before twisting so they could look at the sleeping child. “What are you going to do?”

 

“Why does he think I’m his Mom?”

 

“Because to him, you are. Shaun, the real Shaun, implanted memories of a childhood. So to him, you raised him.”

 

“Why would Shaun do that? It seems sick. First he unfreezes me for some sort of experiment, just to see if I’d live, if I’d find him, and now this?”

 

Carrington wrapped an arm around her side to pull her closer. “I think this was his attempt to have the childhood he didn’t get. I can’t excuse his actions, Nora, but I think this was him trying to have a second chance, and to give you one, too. Will you keep Shaun? We can do a memory wipe and find him a home, if you want.”

 

Nora stared down at the child, at her child?

 

What should she do?

 

#

 

_One Year Later_

 

 

Nora sigh as Carrington walked in, blood on his sleeve. “You know, you’re supposed to leave work at work.”

 

“I’m a doctor, Nora. Why they insist on bringing me brahmin to fix, I’ll never understand.” His gaze lowered to his sleeves. “Oh, I see. Sorry, I’ll go change before dinner.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Nora’s cheek, hands held away, before heading up the stairs. 

 

A few minutes later, he came back down in a fresh shirt and pair of pants, hair damp like he’d washed it. “Better? Now, let’s try this again.” He set a hand behind her back and pulled her against him, into a deep kiss. He broke is when she moaned. “How was your day?”

 

“Good. Preston stopped in, we figured out guard rotations and some supply shit from Diamond City.” Her gaze drifted to the window of their little house, looking over at the crops growing in the front yard. “You know, I never thought Sanctuary could be this, could be a real town. Never thought I could have this after I lost everything.”

 

“Yeah, me either.” Except Carrington wasn’t looking out the window, he was looking right at Nora, before he leaned over for another kiss

 

“Oh, gross! You guys aren’t allowed to kiss.” Shaun covered his eyes, voice dramatic, a stupid wig Deacon had given him on his head. He stumbled backward until his back hit the doorframe, his other hand clutching his chest. “We talked about this, Mom. No kissing, not ever.”

 

Carrington chuckled before giving Nora another kiss, slowly, like he enjoyed teasing the boy.

 

Shaun’s voice held horror. “That’s it, I’m leaving. I’m going to Uncle Deacon’s for the night.”

 

Nora broke the kiss, laughing before calling after him. “Love you!”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Love you, too Mom and Dad.” Shaun’s voice called back into the house as he fled, like any eleven year old boy would when faced with dreaded public displays of affection by his parents.

 

Carrington turned toward Nora, eyebrow cocked up. “So, it looks like we have the evening alone. Do you have any plans?”

 

She grinned at how their life had turned out, the quiet peace they both had craved, the family they’d both lost and somehow managed to piece back together. She’d never really thought they could have it, yet here they were, waking up every day as a family.

 

Nora pulled away, walking backward toward the stairs, pulling the zipper of her vault suit down until it exposed her chest and stomach. “Well, I’ve been told I’m a very sick girl in need of some medical expertise. You happen to know a good doctor who could give me a thorough physical?”

 

Carrington smiled before chasing her up the stairs, his soft voice following her. “Charming.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! We will see Deacon and Sarah in another story soon, hopefully. :)


End file.
